Raising a Self Confident Daughter into a Self Confident Woman

Sep 24, 2019

My mission is to help girl athletes build self confidence so they can rock it when competing in their sport. So, I am so excited to share this podcast episode that I am a guest on with Amanda Walker, who is instilling confidence in women. 

On Amanda's podcast, Feel Amazing Naked, we talk about how to raise self confident daughters who grow up to be self confident women. We give 10 tips for growing your self confidence, so make sure you listen in (and I have them listed below)!

As a former athlete as well, Amanda helps women gain confidence through her lifestyle health coaching program, Feel Amazing Naked. She is on a mission to help women transform their body and minds. 

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST AND READ MORE HERE!

From Amanda Walker's Podcast...

10 TIPS FOR GROWING YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

If action is what’s necessary for growing our confidence, we need to know which actions will have the best results. I asked Paige to help brainstorm 10 tips for helping our girls, (and ourselves!) grow in confidence so that they can be more confident now and in the future.

#1 – PRACTICE VISUALIZATION. 

The amazing thing about visualization, (aka manifesting) is that when you visualize yourself doing something, (getting a home run, sticking the landing, getting an A on the test, or not eating the cake at the restaurant) you trick your brain into thinking you already did it.

Performing mental reps like this combined with practice in the skill tends to lead to improved performance which also builds confidence. 

#2 – SAY GOODBYE TO PERFECTIONISM. 

If your daughter struggles with wanting to be the best in her class, the highest achieving athlete on her team, and the star employee at her part-time job, you have got to help her let go of the tendency toward perfectionism. 

Being perfect…always achieving at the 100% level is simply not sustainable. For any of us.

A quote from the Confidence Code For Girls:

PRE-FEC-TION-ISM:

“A really dangerous disease. An invasive, strangling vine that creeps into your life and chokes everything in its path.  It stresses you out and keeps you from taking risks.  And most importantly, it keeps you from being you!”

(Reference from page 193 of the Confidence Code for Girls)

#3 – USE POSITIVE SELF-TALK.

Paige encourages her girls to practice positive self-talk on a regular basis because it’s something that most of us aren’t naturally good at. She uses a tool called an Opinions Exercise. 

The exercise begins with writing down a negative opinion that you have of yourself or that someone else has expressed to you. Once you have it in writing, cross it out or tear it up and then write down the positive things you truly believe about yourself in place of that negative opinion. 

#4 – TAKE RISKS TO OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE.

Many of us struggle with the desire to stay small and insignificant because it feels safe. I see it in my clients. I see it in myself. 

We may have a fire inside us to accomplish something but we are too afraid to try. And that is a great way to defeat any self-confidence we may have. 

I like to ask my clients, “What’s the one thing that scares the crap out of you that you’re going to do this week?” 

You can start really small. I have a client who has been deathly afraid to wear a tank top or shorts. So, her thing to do one week was put on a tank top and leave her house in it. And when I asked her how it felt, she admitted that it felt pretty damn good.

#5 – WRITE LOVE LETTERS…TO YOURSELF.

We often think of writing love letters to special people in our lives, whether that be a parent, a grandparent, a close friend, or a special relative. For this exercise, you’ll write as though you were saying all the nice things you would say to that person, but you write it to yourself instead.

A lot of times, we need permission to love ourselves, to recognize those things we are good at. We spend too much time focusing on the things we need to change. Society tells us to “stay humble.” 

A love letter to yourself is a great place to express those things that make you proud of yourself. 

#6 – BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH ON YOUR VALUES.

All too often, we seek validation in others. We look for votes of confidence from our friends or our husbands. But we need to look at our own personal values and see if we’re living in alignment with those values.

Is the way you live your daily life in alignment with your core values? If you are out of alignment with your values, you will do the things that others want you to do and ignore what matters to you. 

#7 – START JOURNALING.

If you’ve been around Feel Amazing Naked for any length of time at all, you know that I am a huge proponent of journaling

There are many different ways to journal so it’s important that you find the method that works best for you and that you practice it until it feels natural. Paige has her girls begin journaling by writing down what they’re grateful for.

A great place to start is by listening to my episode with Andrea Robinson and checking out her “You Do You” journal

#8 – LIMIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

If your daughter finds herself scrolling social media and feeling less than because of what she’s seeing there, it’s a good idea to begin to limit the amount of time spent on social media. Social media sucks us into comparing ourselves with others and that’s a confirmed killer of self-confidence. 

#9 – PRAISE EFFORT INSTEAD OF OUTCOME.

As a parent, are you more concerned about your daughter’s grade on a test or how much time she spent preparing for the test? If you know she gave it everything she had, is that enough for you?

When we remain unattached to what happens and completely committed to action, that increases our confidence in our ability to keep going. The link to the Carol Dawagg book wouldn’t work for me. 

#10 – SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

If you want to grow in confidence, you can’t surround yourself with people who constantly bring you down. You have to build a tribe of people who believe in you, who build you up, who encourage you to keep growing.

If you walk away from spending time with someone and you feel negative within yourself, you need to reevaluate spending time with that person. 

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If you this has hit home for you and you are ready to help your daughter build this kind of confidence, I would love to help you. You can connect with me here for a FREE strategy call and I can learn more about your daughter!

Keep On Keepin' On Girl! 

Love,
Paige

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