Why confidence is not just a feeling, it's a choice

If you guys haven’t seen, I’ve been interviewing former and current athletes and coaches on my Instagram live and it’s been amazing! One of the things I am determined to do is provide you with insight and experience from people who have been through what your daughter is going through. One of the recent guests, Head Field Hockey Coach at Liberty University, Nikki Parsley-Blocker, said, “Confidence is a choice, not a feeling.” That has really stuck with me since hearing it.

Way too often, we determine how we are going to play or perform based on if we “feel” confident or not. But, that’s all backwards because confidence is a choice. We have to choose to be confident.

So many girls that I work with struggle with negative self-talk. Things like…

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m afraid to fail and let everyone down.”

“I don’t want to play like I did last weekend.”

“My swing isn’t perfect, so I probably won’t hit well.”

I have to remind them that confidence is a choice, not a feeling. We have to be disciplined enough to choose a thought that is true, good, and useful. Because if we continue to think those negative thoughts, doubtful thoughts, and worried thoughts, then we definitely won’t be confident.

Is it easy? No. But, being an athlete is full of challenges. That’s the point. The more your daughter can be aware of her thoughts, understand how to shift her thoughts, and choose a thought that is true, good, and useful, the more confident she is going to be.

That’s why I do what I do. I’m here to help girls learn how to be aware, learn mental training skills like shifting thoughts, and showing how to actually practice this mental part of the game.

I’d love to know from your personal perspective though… what’s holding your daughter back?


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