Okay, okay, maybe not go that far... but, failure is and will continue to show up whether we like it or not. So, we can make friends with it or allow it to take us down into the fiery flames.
Here's what I want you to think about...
What if you thought of failure as a tool?
What if you took your failures and learned from them?
What if you talked to your teammates about failure like it wasn't a big deal?
What if you had more conversations with your coaches about failing?
What I mean by let's make failure cool is... let's normalize failing. Because when we can learn from our failure, we can come back stronger, better, empowered, and more confident.
Talking about failure is why I do what I do. I want to have more conversations about failures and how to move through them because it's the only way to success. If we have more of these conversations together, we will learn faster!
I am hosting a local event here in Arizona called Girl Talk to do exactly this! I'm inviting girl...
I think this is one of the biggest reasons most athletes don't ever start working on the mental part of being an athlete.... they don't know where to even start!
So, let's start from the beginning.
Preparing for games!
You already have countless hours of practice and lessons each week, all year long. Perfect! What you're missing is practicing and preparing your mind for competition.
You need a pre-game routine to mentally prepare you to perform since you've already put the physical work in.
I have made this so easy for you. It's something called Game Ready Confidence (aka your new pre-game routine)!
Here's how it works...
Pretty easy right?! Let's go into a little more depth with using it.
Game Ready Confidence is a PDF with journaling prompts on it. All you have to do is fill them out before your game. These journaling prompts are going to allow you to...
Give yourself some slack
Help you notice how you're feeling
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just sit back, relax, and watch your athlete do her thing with full confidence?
To know that your athlete is fully equipped with the tools she needs to show up confident?
To watch her bounce back from mistakes?
Well, you're not dreaming!
I have a really simple, yet very effective tool she can use to have full confidence going into her next game!
Game Ready Confidence
Your daughter's pre-game routine for her mindset!
It's a quick journaling session that will allow your athlete to be mindful of how she feels, create intention of how she wants to show up, let go of pressure, and have a plan for failure (because failure happens)!
Anddd... to make this pre-game routine even better, I'm offering a one-time opportunity to add a Pre-Game Guided Visualization MP3 she can listen to before her games.
Positive Thinking + Visualization = CONFIDENCE!
Things don't just happen. We create what happens by thinking about it, practicing it, and believing it.
Have you ever felt afraid to fail? Mess up? Say the wrong thing? Do the wrong thing? Have the wrong answer?
If yes, you're not alone. Pretty sure almost every single athlete I've ever worked with has felt like this at some point and time.
It's okay. But, it's also time to leave that fear behind because it is only holding you back!
Failing, messing up, saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, having the wrong answers ARE ALL PARTS OF LIFE.
Those things are supposed to happen and they WILL happen. Once you can accept that, it will be easier.
This is going to sound weird, but I want you to think about the worst thing that could happen?
Maybe the worst things that could happen are...
You fall, get back up, and try again
People laugh at you and you decide it's not that bad, then laugh with them
You don't succeed that day, but you learn
Are you starting to see a pattern?!
Sometimes, we make those things way scarier and harder than they really are. When you can accept...
Ugh... this feeling sucks right?
I believe that the best coaches instill belief in their athletes.
Good news... there are coaches that do this!
Bad news is... not all coaches do this (we can have a whole conversation about this another time).
This feeling still sucks though. Which is why I teach athletes how to create their own confidence when they feel like this.
Here is what you can do when you feel like your coach doesn't believe in you:
Thought = A story we tell ourselves, our imagination, our opinion
Fact = 100% true, can be proved in a court!
A lot of times we tend to create a story in our minds that isn't totally true - it's all good, it happens to everyone.
This is the truth time. This is the time to step into your power and decide what you want to happen, who you want to be, and how you want to show up!
This was one of the questions that came up in The Confident Athlete live group Zoom calls this past week and it made me think about my answer for this.
Here was my answer to these girls:
It's not like I worked on my mindset and now I'm cured. I'm not 100% confident, 100% of the time. I'm human!
Think about it as different subjects in school. You have English, History, Math, Science, etc. Your grades in each of these subjects vary. 95% in English. 80% in Math. You get the point.
Confidence is kind of like those subjects in school. You might be...
100% confident in your defense.
60% confident in your offense.
75% confident in making new friends.
40% confident in asking for help.
Sometimes it varies.
But, here's what I know is true. I know that when I started focusing on what I was thinking and working on my mindset, my confidence was BOOMING! Because... what we think and say is what we believe.
It took me less than 6 months to turn my confidence around my...
I know. It's super hard to stay positive when you are in the middle of a game, competing. Especially when you start to feel nervous, the pressure is on, or after you make a mistake and can't stop beating yourself up over it.
Here's what I want you to do in your next game to stay positive even when you're going off the negative deep end:
1 Write down a positive, encouraging, powerful, confident affirmation!
Example: I am valuable no matter what happens and I can do anything I set my mind to!
2 Put that new affirmation somewhere you will be able to see it during your game.
Examples: Small note in your pocket, on your hand/arm, on some tape, right on your equipment, on your water bottle, etc. Get creative!
3 During your next game, LOOK AT IT and TRUST IT!
It's all about choosing better thoughts!
Want some accountability? Post your reminder on social media and tag me! I can't wait to see your reminder!
I probably wouldn't have told anyone I wasn't "confident" when I was playing softball…
It was more like I just was filled with doubt when it was my turn to perform (aka get in the batters box).
What if I get out?
What if I let my dad down?
What if I suck?
What if my coach doesn't believe in me?
All the doubtful thoughts filled my head and put enormous amounts of pressure on me.
Can you relate?!
I'm with you. But, I have a SOLUTION! Thought editing. I made this up lol. I kept thinking about all of those paragraphs and papers I had to edit in school.
Cross out a word and choose a new one
Rephrase that sentence
Add punctuation there
Well, that's what we can do with our thoughts too.
1Write down your doubtful thoughts (the negative crap going on in your head).
2Make the edits needed to create a powerful thought (sometimes this means scrapping the whole original thought).
3Re-write that beautiful, new, powerful, confident thought that you are going...
What's the point of playing sports if it isn't fun anymore?
Sometimes, I think back about my time playing sports and wish that I would of just had more fun. Don't get me wrong, I had so many good memories playing, but I also was so dang hard on myself that I lost sight of the reason I played in the first place. Fun.
It doesn't have to be competitive OR fun. It CAN be both! You can be competitive and have fun too.
It’s about embracing that failure WILL happen.
It's about knowing you can get through anything.
It's about being goofy and creating positive energy with your teammates.
It's about giving it all you have and if you look dumb, who cares?!
It's about being in the present moment.
It's about celebrating all the hard work.
It's about lifelong bonds with teammates, coaches, and your parents.
When I think about this concept of balancing being a competitor and also having fun while doing that, I think about the Women's College World Series. Every year it comes on, I watch the...
I can't believe it's next week!
I am SO excited for the group of girl athletes that are about to begin The Confident Athlete (first official call is on Monday)! I have girls from all over the country: Florida, Tennessee, South Carolina, Louisiana, Oregon, Kansas, Arizona, Indiana, Alabama, and MORE!
What's so cool about having girls from different sports, teams, and locations, is they start to see that they aren't alone. They are all going through the highs and lows together. Something about that community, support, and togetherness that creates confidence!
163 girl athletes have completed The Confident Athlete program and have had so much growth, mindset shifts, and confidence built like...
Taking leadership roles
Having more fun competing
Moving past mistakes easily
Having the hard and scary conversations with coaches
Being brave and asking for help
Consistent results and stats
Crushing goals and dreams
This is just a handful of wins from the girls who have been a...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.