I was 22.
Just graduated from Northwestern University.
Ready for my next chapter.
Sounds great, right?!
Nope. It was terrible.
I wasn’t an athlete anymore.
I didn’t belong anywhere.
I had NO IDEA what I was going to do in this next chapter (well I had some ideas).
I didn’t have life all figured out.
I still don’t have FULLY figured out.
That’s the point though.
I met a new friend. Dr. Tim Jordan. We met because I started listening to his podcast, Raising Daughters. We had such a great conversation about this topic exactly. Not having life all figured out. He told me a lot of the girls he counsels feel so much pressure and stress because they don’t have it all figured out.
(Insider Tip: Reach out to people who inspire you!!!)
He told me about this concept he came up with, the dot concept. Remember those dot pictures where you’d connect the dots and ended up with some sort of picture?!
He told me that’s kind of what life is like. You...
What will my coaches think?
What will my teammates think?
What will my parents think?
What will I think about myself?
These are the thoughts that pop into our head when we compete.
Mine sounded a little more like…
What if I don’t get the hit and they take me out?
I have to get this hi or else…
It’s negative. It’s self doubt. It’s fear.
When I had these thoughts, I was just setting myself up for failure. I created the results with just my thoughts.
I tell the girls in The Confident Athlete to “Fake it till you make it.”
To be honest, I didn’t love this saying because who wants to be fake?!
I want the real deal. True confidence!
Here is how “Fake it till you make it” works.
The more positive, encouraging, powerful, confident thoughts we can put in our head and surround ourselves with, the more we will believe it.
At first, a positive thought might not feel like the truth. And, that’s okay!
But, just like...
It is time to start owning your confidence!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I can envision what I want each girl athlete I come across to feel and be.
My goal and vision for girl athletes that are in my programs, followers on Instagram, or just cross paths with me is for them to own their confidence.
So… that’s you!
I want you to OWN YOUR CONFIDENCE!
I want you to OWN YOUR POWER!
And I want you to do this unapologetically.
I want you to be able to walk onto a field or court or wherever you are competing and know that you can do whatever you set your mind to.
I want you to walk the halls at school with confidence of who you are, no apologies.
I want you to feel confidence no matter what challenges, struggles, problems, or failures come your way.
So, let’s work on this!
I want you to journal on these 2 questions:
1 What do you want your confidence to feel like?
2 What do you want your confidence to look like?
When you have those answers, I want you to...
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be truly confident? The best version of yourself?
I’ve got you covered, girl!
In this video, we are going to actually practice visualization. Like right here, right now!
You all know that I teach the girl athletes in my programs visualization.
I teach visualization because it’s a simple, yet incredibly powerful tool to create confidence and find more success!
I want you to know how it feels to visualize your best self. Your most confident self.
So, close your eyes and get ready to visualize.
How you want to feel before you go to compete.
What you want to do in your games/competition.
How you want to show up.
What you want to believe about yourself.
Practice this over and over to really embody this confidence!
Challenge: Get a photo of you visualizing before a game or practice and submit it in my Athlete Photo Entry to be featured in my social media!
Keep on keepin’ on,
Every time I think about the phrase, “letting go, let go, let it go,” I’m singing Frozen
But, on a serious note… letting go of expectations…
This is hard stuff you guys.
I know because I think I have some of the highest expectations ever. I’m pretty sure it started when I was in like 1st grade.
I expected a lot of success from myself. In school, in sports, in life, in my business today!
Those expectations have held me back though. Those expectations have put so much pressure, it’s actually done damage instead of good.
So, how do we let go of expectations (there is Elsa again…)?
It’s just thinking about them differently.
Here is an example…
I’m about to step into the box. Runners are in scoring position. It’s MY JOB to help my team score by getting a hit in this at bat. Pressure is on.
Big expectations me is thinking…
I have to get a hit.
If I don’t get a hit, we won’t win....
If you’re not feeling confident, in a rut, going through a slump… you’re going to love this super easy way to boost your confidence.
If you’ve been following along, you know that I’m a believer in visualization. It’s such a powerful tool for athletes to create confidence.
When you visualize your mind is tricking your body into thinking you really did whatever you visualized.
You’re just seeing yourself succeeding and doing what you want to happen in your games, practice, school, wherever!
This super easy way to boost confidence is a form of visualization.
I’m calling it the Confidence Boosting Highlight Album - let me know if you have a better name!
Here’s what you need to try out
1 What I want you to do is create a photo album in your phone or tablet (or parent’s phone) and name it something like Confident Highlights, Confidence Booster, Game Day Album… get creative!
2 Find videos, clips, photos of you C R U S H...
Yeppp… you read that right.
Just like failure can be used for good, to help you grow, learn, improve, comparison can be a good thing too.
I think that we always will compare ourselves in some shape or form. So instead of resisting and pushing it away and trying not to, let’s embrace it. Let’s use it as fuel to our fire!
We get to choose how we use comparison.
We can be threatened and feel jealous when comparing ourselves…
We can be inspired by others!
It’s all a mindset. It’s thinking differently.
When I start to compare myself to people I follow or see doing really amazing and incredible things, I tell myself this affirmation…
“If she can do it, I can do it.”
Now, let’s be honest. There are plenty of times I’ve been scrolling on Instagram (the scroll hole) and I’ve started to get into threatened-jealous-icky comparison mode.
So, figure out what triggers those feelings and...
Ever think like this?
Why don’t I believe in myself?
I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough for ___________?
I’m trying so hard, but it’s not working.
My confidence sucks.
These are negative thoughts, self doubt, and fear taking over you.
We talk about being confident, being mentally tough, having a good mindset all the time, but do we actually do anything about it?
Not really. At least I didn’t when I was playing sports growing up.
So, how the heck are you supposed to get better at this confidence stuff?
How do you create confidence?
I’ve got YOU! This is what I do. I give you the HOW.
Here’s a quick start to start creating confidence for yourself
1 Start writing, telling, and owning confident statements about yourself
Examples: I belong here. I am a powerful asset to my team. I am important.
Write them everyday
Put them in places you’ll see them (water bottle, equipment, door, nightstand, etc.)
Act like you believe them with...
Have you ever wondered why you are going to or paying for lessons, but not feeling like you’re killin’ it out on the field or court?
Like the things from lessons aren’t transitioning to your game-time performance?
This video and conversation is for YOU then!
I have a very special guest today! We have BJ Johnson, founder of SFS Athletics. He is a private “swing” coach for softball players. And he is REALLY GOOD at what he does.
I brought BJ on as a guest speaker so you can get an inside look at why his hitters are c-r-u-s-h-i-n-g out there. Like lots of homeruns people.
Another reason I brought BJ on was because I admire the way he just “gets working with athletes. Especially girl athletes. He builds these girls up. He’s a coach that instills belief in the girls.
What is different about SFS and his lessons
His coaching style and approach that helps his hitters believe in themselves
Why his athletes are finding more...
I want to preface this with, I love my dad!
But… been there, done that.
Just like in anything, we aren’t perfect. Sometimes we yell.
This is always really tough because underneath all the emotions, yelling, or tough conversations, everyone just cares... A LOT.
Your dad or mom probably yells at you or gets upset with you because they know you are capable of SO MUCH!
But, it still hurts. It’s still so frustrating in the moment.
Here’s what you do in this situation…
1 Be respectful. Ignoring, rolling eyes, being rude doesn’t help in this situation.
2 Listen, but detach the emotions and the message. Try your best to hear the message without the anger, frustration, negativity. Figure out how you can learn from what his/her message is.
3 Know what you can control >> your reaction, your attitude, your interpretation.
4 Afterwards when things have settled down a bit, ask your dad/mom to have a conversation so you can set a boundary for yourself...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.