If you’ve stopped to read/watch this, you’re probably thinking, holy crap, she’s talking to me.

The reason I wanted to talk about this is because I WAS HARD ON MYSELF. I still am, but I’m so much better at giving myself credit, celebrating the little stuff, and having grace for myself.

It kind of seemed like nothing was good enough. There was always something more to reach for as I grew up playing competitive softball.

I mean, as athletes we have to be hard on ourselves. That’s what makes us great athletes. That’s what makes us competitive. That’s what drives us. But….. there is a balance. And oftentimes, our scale is tipped way over to the side of I’m-so-hard-on-myself-I’m-never-satisfied.

The perfect example of how being toooo hard on yourself can be detrimental to success.

I had made it! I received that offer from the head coach at Northwestern University. I was going to play Division I softball at a highly academic...

Have you thought or said this before…

My daughter doesn’t even realize how great she is.

My daughter doesn’t think she is an amazing athlete.

My daughter doesn’t see her self worth.

My daughter doesn’t see what everyone else sees in her.

I get these messages way too often. It breaks my heart to hear and see that girls don’t realize how great they really are.

I really think that these beliefs come from…

Feeling like we have to prove ourselves to be worthy

Thinking that if we actually think we are great, that it will come off as being arrogant, conceited, or overconfident

Always feeling like we have to be perfect at anything we do

I often times do a little exercise with the girls I work with and ask them to write down ONE thing they love about themselves…

It’s awkward for them.

It takes them way longer than it should to write down one thing.

It ends up being surface level stuff.

It’s hard for them to write down just one...

Those dang annoying son-of-a-gun mistakes.

They ruin everything. One mistake turns to two, then turns to three, then ruins your life and you want to crawl in a deep dark hole and never come out.

Top 5 question I get from girl athletes…

How do I not let a mistake affect the rest of my game?

Before I give you the answer, I’m going to tell you a little story. It’s good… or bad.

Honestly, it’s hard for me to remember really specific times I struggled to let go of a mistake. Mostly because there were TOO MANY times it happened.

I remember it going down like this though…

I made a mistake. Let’s say this one was a strike out.

In that at bat, I probably got pissed at the umpire for making some bad calls, took extra hard practice swings because I was angry, you get the point here.

I strike out, start making the walk of shame back to the dugout and as I pass my teammate who is going up to bat, I give her a limp high five (super encouraging for...

We so desperately want to help our team win, right?!

So desperately, that we put this enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to perform.

And then… we fail.

Because we are crushed by the pressure.

I can remember very clearly going up to bat wearing my purple Northwestern jersey…

Walk up song blaring

2 Outs

Runners in scoring position

And thinking… “I have to get a hit. I hope I can get a hit. What if I don’t get a hit?”

Then…

Striking out.

Again.

And this sinking, gut punching, let-down-everyone-feeling came over me.

And then… I carried that onto defense. And the next inning. And in the locker room after the game. And all the way back to my apartment where I bawled, wondering when I would ever be good enough. Or when I’d finally get that hit in the moment my team needed me.

I have worked with manyyyyyy girls on the mental side of the game now and one of the fears that they have the most is…

They are afraid to let...

I am positive that a huge part of my success this far in life is because of who I surround myself with.

Here are a few groups and people that I have put myself around to be successful, inspired, supported, pushed, and motivated…

Northwestern Softball

Mom and Dad

My boyfriend

‍Crossfit Incendia (led me to my first 2 jobs, boyfriend, and current coach)

Amanda Walker

The Inner Circle (Group Coaching Program I am in by Amanda Walker)

Mindset Coach Collab Girls (Kadee, Shay, Jill, and Sam)

FCA

‍My closest friends

Jacqueline’s Mastermind

These groups and people have made a significant impact on my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them and I wouldn’t be going where I’m going without them.

Who you spend your time with MATTERS!

If you’ve ever spent time with anyone or any groups that bring you down, make you feel small, or leading you in the wrong direction… you know why this MATTERS!

At church one week they talked about how...

‍ Don’t think of Taylor Swift.

What are you thinking of right now? ‍

Probably Taylor Swift! Maybe even singing your favorite T-Swift song!

I’m guilty. Your coaches are guilty. Your parents are guilty. You are guilty.

Guilty of telling ourselves what we don’t want to do. 

When we are trying to improve and make adjustments we tell ourselves things like…

Don’t drop your shoulder

Stop being late

Don’t mess this up

These are all great things to know, but you don’t want to be thinking…

Don’t mess this up, don’t strike out, don’t swing too late when you are up to bat because that usually ends up with big ol’ strike out!

Change the way you are thinking about your adjustments. 

Tell yourself things like…

Stay tall!

Be early!

You’re ready for it.

I can do this!

See the difference there?!

Now you are in the right mindset to actually make the adjustments you want to see!

This is a really...

I get this one a lot!

Girls are always asking me how to get more motivated?! ‍

So, if you’ve ever thought or said this before…

I just don’t feel motivated.

I would rather just stay right here relaxing.

Ugh, why can’t I get motivated to do this?!

Then, you should keep listening! This is for you!

Motivation is tough.

It comes and goes. 

Sometimes it’s there and sometimes it just disappears.

Motivation comes from these things…

Planning

Accountability

Routine

Let me go deeper here.

Planning: If you have a plan of action (aka writing it down in a planner/agenda) you are more likely to be motivated to GET IT DONE!

When you aren’t feeling motivated, it’s going to be written down and you will more likely push past that resistance and lack of motivation to GET IT DONE!

Accountability: Surround yourself with people who keep you accountable, push you, make you a better person. Make sure the friends you are with are motivated ones!...

I know, it totally sucks, right?

All you type A, perfectionist, control crazies (by the way, this is me too) are annoyed with this.

But, what if I told you letting go of the outcome will make you a [email protected]$$ athlete?!

I listened to a former MLB pitcher, former MLB coach, former college coach, ANDDDD former high school coach and he said…

“Once that pitch was out of my hand, it was out of my control. I could have thrown the most perfect pitch and the hitter could get a hit.”

Ain’t that the truth.

So…

Let it go.

Do everything you can IN YOUR CONTROL and then let it go.

Give it up.

That sounds almost bad, huh? Give it up.

But, the thing is, you can only control what you can control.

And it’s definitely NOT the outcome.

You can control…

Your mind

Your effort

You attitude

Your reactions

Your passion

I made a decision my senior year (the first three years were rough hitting).

I decided that I was going to give it my all.

I decided that I was...

Are you afraid to talk to your coaches about playing time? 

I know I was terrified to go into my coach’s office for our individual meetings. Not because they were bad, it’s just this thing about talking to the head coach that makes all of your decisions (which feel like your life depends on them at the moment).

This is something we just talked about in my programs because it’s REALLY important.

It’s important to know how to talk to your coaches about this sensitive topic. 

Let’s talk playing time! This one is BIG!

My rule of thumb is, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

If you don’t tell your coaches what you want, they might not ever know!

3 things when talking about playing time…

1

It HAS to come from YOU!

When it comes from you, all it’s saying to your coach is that you are passionate about this goal of wanting more in a certain position. 

2

Right time, right place is important.

Don’t talk to your coach about...

Have you ever made that one mistake and all the sudden it feels like the world is ending?

Or… that one mistake led to 5 more mistakes.

Or… you make that mistake and it’s all you can think about for the rest of the day?

I feel ya girl! 

And I’ve got YOU!

I teach my girls in my program these 4 steps to confidence after a mistake…

1 Awareness

Just knowing that your thoughts are starting to spiral to a destruction and having the mindfulness to be like, “Paige...it’s happening, shift your thoughts.”

2 Reflect

Ask yourself these 3 questions. 

What did I do well?

What did I not do so well? (this is the easy one)

How do I get better?

3 Remodel

See the lesson in your mistake. Learn from it. Use it as fuel. Use it as a tool to get better and move forward. Tell yourself what you ARE actually capable of!

Pro tip: this is where affirmations come in! 

Example: “This was one mistake. I’m a powerhouse. I can hit...