Sadly, the Women’s College World Series has come and gone. It always gives me all the feels and takes me back to the good ‘ol playing days. But, more importantly, so many of the girls that I work with in my programs noticed and paid close attention to these young women playing in the tournament. 

They noticed… 

the pitchers' presence on the rubber 

the hitters literally talking to themselves before they step into the box 

how much fun the teams are having in the dugout 

that anything can happen, it just takes one pitch to change the entire game 

how calm and in control these athletes are in pressure moments 

Yes, it takes a lot of physical practice and training to get to where these young women have gotten. Hours and hours and hours. But, what truly separates them from the rest is their mentality. Their resilience. Their confidence. 

Having a confident presence, positive and empowering self-talk, being able to bounce...

Watch and learn from former collegiate basketball player, Taylor Hall's experiences through every part of her journey so far.

One thing that stuck with me after our conversation was, “Don’t take everything so seriously, playing your sport is meant to be fun."

Taylor did not have the best experience playing college ball, but that hasn’t stopped her from learning and growing to become the best version of herself and now impacting others through fitness and training. I love how honest and open Taylor is about her experience because often times the collegiate athlete experience can be glamorized and always shared as this dreamy thing. She was able to take a tough experience and make the best out of her situation.

Taylor’s advice to all the athletes that come behind her is to not take everything so seriously. Playing and competing is meant to be fun. It can be fun and intense. And you aren’t your sport, it’s what you do!

I can’t wait to watch...

I’ve been doing some learning myself. In this coaching program I am in, I heard this great example about how pain is necessary.

Shirzad Chamine, the coach of the Positive Intelligence program, explained that when you put your hand on a hot stove, that pain signals your brain to take your hand off the stove. Or else, you’re going to have a burnt-to-the-crisp hand. That pain is necessary.

This also goes for emotional pain. Our painful thoughts and feelings are necessary because when we have them, it is a signal to our brain to stop, pause, and redirect.

The problem is, sometimes we don’t stop, pause, and redirect to thoughts that are going to help us feel happiness, confidence, and be more successful. Sometimes, we get stuck.

That’s where mental training tools come in handy.

To stop and pause, I like to use breath. Taking a deep breath to get neutral again. Slow things down so you can make a better decision moving forward.

To redirect, I like visualization or...

When I thought about having my own kids, when I was pregnant, and now as a new mother, the one thing I want my son to be is respectful. 

Every single time I have the opportunity to do a workshop with a team in person, I know within the first 15 minutes who I would want on my team (if I had a team).

I can tell by the girl’s presence, their body language, if they are making eye contact, if they are facing towards me (the speaker), if they are talking over me (the speaker), on their phone (this one seems like a given, but you’d be surprised how many girls I have seen on their phone during a workshop). All of these things, to me, mean respect. 

I don’t care if a girl is the best player on the team. Best player in the state. In the country. I want girls who are respectful. Because that respect tells me they can be a team player, can be a leader, can be coachable. That’s the kind of athlete I want on my team. 

So, would I choose your daughter to be...

I can remember plenty of times when I was playing club ball, even college ball, and the parents would be chatting with each other in front of the athletes playing about who should play, who didn't deserve playing time, if the coach was awful or not worthy of the position, or even gossiping about other parents. 

As I have gotten older, grown, and formed more of my own opinions, I look back at those moments and know how toxic they were for me and my teammates. 

Anyone, not just parents, falls into the pit of gossip at times. We are human. Meaning, we aren’t perfect. But, we need to have more awareness because it affects what your daughter thinks about gossiping. If you gossip, she will think it’s okay to gossip. And in my opinion, it’s not okay to talk negatively about others. 

Parents need to stop gossiping because even though it doesn’t seem like the kids are listening… they are. They are like sponges. 

So, let’s commit to...

Watch and learn from current collegiate volleyball player and mental health leader, Hannah Watkin's experiences through every part of her journey so far.

One thing that stuck with me after our conversation was, “Physical and mental health are the same things, find time to treat your mental health the same way you take care of your physical health."

Hannah also answers…

What have been her biggest struggles in her career and how she has overcome them

What she does to feel confident before matches

What it's like to be a leader as Head Campus Captain for @thehiddenopponent 

What has brought her success

What is one thing she'd like to know sooner as an athlete

Hannah recovers from mistakes by asking herself, "Do I remember any mistakes I made in high school? (it's usually a no) and to remember that no one is going to remember this in a year, but they will remember how she responded consistently. 

You can find Hannah at…

Follow: @hannahrachellew

Loved...

Confidence doesn’t always just show up because we want it to. If we just relied on our confidence to show up, even after we just failed or made a mistake, it wouldn’t. You know this because you’ve seen your daughter show up with ZERO confidence after a slump, mistake, embarrassing herself, a bad game, a bad practice. You can see it all over her. Her body language, her demeanor, her face. 

Confidence is created. Confidence is created so that when you do fail, you can still show up with confidence. No matter what happened before. 

So, here’s the formula for confidence. 

Thoughts + Actions = Confidence 

Thoughts = positive affirmations, reminders, truths, self love, positive self talk

Actions = writing down those thoughts, putting down those thoughts somewhere where you will see them (equipment, arm, note, etc.), visualizing the success you want, deep breaths, practice 

This is how confidence is created even in the hard moments. 

Do...

We tend to limit ourselves and our potential before we even give ourselves the chance to succeed. Meaning, we are constantly falling short of our true potential. Sometimes, we don’t even realize what’s possible.

Does this sound like your athlete? 

I do this to myself all the time. I think about all the ways it couldn’t work or what’s “realistic” rather than just trusting myself and showing up with an open mind. 

The way that I get out of my own way and step into the most confident version of myself is by asking myself some questions, journaling, and visualizing. 

Have your daughter journal on these questions…

1If you already had the success you wanted, what would your confidence be like? 

2If you were the most confident version of yourself, how would you show up in your game/practice? 

3If you were already successful and confident, what would you say or think about yourself? 

Encourage your daughter to...

Watch and learn from former collegiate swimmer and mental health advocate, Olivia Bray’s experiences through every part of her journey so far.

One thing that stuck with me after our conversation was, “The relationships you create are so much more important than the trophies you’ll get.”

Olivia also answers…

‍ Being a student athlete, what have been your biggest struggles in your career and how have you overcome them?

‍ What do you do to feel confident for your races/swim meets?

‍ You're a Head Campus Captain for Hidden Opponent, how did you step into this role or why is mental health important to you?

‍ What is one thing you wish you would have known sooner as an athlete?

Olivia mimics race day to show up with confidence including how she speaks to herself. Here are some things she says to herself to create confidence:

I've prepared myself to the best of my ability.

She hasn't done what I've done to be here.

I'm a badass.

You can find...

Now that I have studied and really worked on my own mindset, I oftentimes wonder why I ever would think…

“Hitting is hard.” 

I mean, I probably had that thought often because that’s what the world was saying. Because to be truthful, it is hard. It’s one of the hardest things in sports. One of the hardest parts of baseball and softball. 

But, it was leading me to believe that it was hard for me when it didn’t have to be. It’s like I was making it harder than it was. Overcomplicating it. Overthinking it. 

Sound familiar? 

I’m thinking that you’re thinking… “Wow, this is so my daughter.” 

I work on getting perspective with the girls that I work with. I work on helping them reframe thoughts just like this.

Instead of thinking, “Hitting is hard,” let’s think things like this…

Hitting is so easy

I can hit in my sleep

I can hit anything 

Hitting comes so...