Unfortunately, this comes up way too often. BUT! It's a part of sports - part of the game and competition.
But most of us have had those coaches that...
yell at you
are so sarcastic it hurts
make you feel worthless
deplete your self confidence
the list could go on and on...
Bad news: You can't change them.
Good news: You can change you!
You're probably like, what?! Heck no! Coach blankity blank sucks, not me!
I know, I feel your pain! Been there, done that!
Here's the thing though...
You want these things below right?!
to feel happy
to have confidence
to play like a [email protected]$&
to have fun
to not go home crying
That's what I thought! So, listen up!
It's time to take control of you instead of worrying how the coach is,...
I'm not going to lie to you. I was focused on the results for A LONG TIME. I still catch myself focusing in on the results instead of what I should be focusing on.
I wanted the...
highest batting average
record for the most RBI's
best fielding percentage
But, that mentality only got me so far.. I did okay, maybe just slightly above average. It never felt like enough. I knew deep down I had more in me.
I WANTED TO BE GREAT!
When I worried about the results...
I was tense
I had horrible thinking when it wasn't perfect
my attitude sucked when the results didn't match up to my expectations
I was a crap teammate because I was being selfish
Here's the trick.
Focusing on the things you CAN control.
I know.... rocket science, right?! You've heard this one before, but hear me out.
SERIOUSLY! - this is no joke!
When things took off in my softball career...
So many things to achieve, accomplish, succeed at.
But, you're over her being Negative Nancy!
It's okay, first of all.
It happens to me too. Heck, it happens to a LOT of other girls, athletes, grown ups, CEO's and way more.
Are you ready to make a change?
Are you ready to actually achieve your 2020 goals?
Are you ready to be the best you can be?
It starts with your mind.
In 2020 you have to make your mind a priority.
You're at practice and you just can't get that one thing right AGAIN!
It's just flat out dumb.
Time to make your mind priority.
Here's what you do next...
1. Take a deep breath (ask for a water break or something)
2. Ask yourself, "What did I do well?"
3. Ask yourself, "What did I not do well?
4. Ask yourself, "How can I learn, grown, and get better?
5. Take another deep breath. Seriously.
6. Take ACTION. You've got this!
This is what I call the overcoming...
Here's the deal...
BUT... you haven't put the work in that you know you should of.
It's not too late to boost your confidence though! You can still go into this thing with the right mindset.
Your mind is POWERFUL!
Here's what you need to do before you start.
Step 1: Breathe. I mean big deep breaths!
Step 2: Get Present. Let go of what you did or didn't do and get focused on right now!
Step 3: Self Talk. Start telling yourself empowering words.
Step 4: Breathe AGAIN. Big inhale. Big exhale. You've got this!
If you do this, you are raising your chances to be more successful going into it with your MIND right!
And remember this!
DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN!
The most important thing is you learn from how you felt and you create a...
Is this your daughter?
She's half in, half out.
Which only leads to average or below average outcomes... which sucks for her and for you, right?!
You can't figure out why she cant just trust herself!
Well, this is why...
Her thoughts and her self talk just don't add up to "confidence."
She's probably thinking...
What if I strike out?
What if I let my team down?
She's probably saying...
I'm never going to be as good as Sally Sue.
I"m not even that great.
She's probably hearing...
Don't swing at that.
You can't do it like that.
Don't do it like this.
What we think and say is what we BELIEVE!
Here is a simple way to practice thinking and saying positive, encouraging, empowering, confident things so your daughter can start BELIEVING!
Have her brain dump "I am ____________" statements. You can even do this with her. Brain dump your own "I am ___________"...
Is your daughter...
nervous in pressure situations?
hard on herself after a tough game?
stressed out trying to juggle all the school and sports?
I get it. Your daughter doesn't want to listen to you, but just in case she is listening, here are some things to help her be more confident.
1 What she can control = effort, attitude, mindset
PRAISE THE HECK OUT OF THIS!!!!
Remind her how important her self talk is
Use your own personal examples that you have experienced as an adult to relate to her
2 What she CAN'T control = the results and the outcomes
Remind her that the outcomes and the results are out of our control
Talk about how she can adjust the process and her strategy to direct new results
Let her tell you the new plan and what she can do to create change!
3 Her growth mindset
It's a process.
Forget the comparison.
She is enough.
How can she grow and learn?!
You know when you mess up. So do we as daughters. Let's focus on...
I have a lot of girls (and adults) ask me how do I balance it all?
How do you go from practice to lesson to game to practice and STILL get really good grades?
How do you get your homework done and be a top notch athlete?
How do you do it all without feeling so stressed out?
You're probably thinking, duh, I knew that. BUT, it's hard to figure out how to do all those things and do them well. I'm here to help you with that HOW!
My #1 secret to being a successful student, athlete, friend, and family member is...
Yep! 1 tool took me from grade school all the way till today. It's like my 2nd Bible.
How do you use that thing to your advantage though? Let's relieve that stress you're feeling!
1. Know the end goal.
Homecoming (School Dance)
2. Know the actions and steps to get to the end goal.
Example: For a test...
These are EASY ways to add mental training to gain confidence into your life as a student-athlete!
There is so much going on in our crazy athlete lives.
For all of us - parents, coaches, and athletes!
First of all, you bring your brain with you everywhere you go... not your equipment, right?! So, this should be super easy!
I'm going to make this as simple as I can for you because when you work on your mind, everything clicks and you become the confident athlete you want to be!
You start playing to your full potential
You have SO much fun doing it!
You start conquering your goals
You feel CONFIDENT!
Here are the 3 things!
1. Visualize before you perform
Visualize in the double hole (softball peeps)
Visualize before the game even starts
Visualize on the bench waiting for your opportunity
When you visualize for even 30 seconds and see...
I feel ya. I was this girl. Bomb practice player up in here!
No pressure, no problem!
But what is the point of putting in all that hard work and falling short when it matters?!
We play to win.
We play to succeed.
We play to be the best.
So, let's get you feeling confident and crushing it on the field!
Here's your new mental game plan!
4 seconds in through your nose...
HOLD it at the top...
4 seconds out through your nose...
HOLD at the bottom...
2. Self Talk
Create a mantra and say that over and over!
See this video for more mantra help https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCzcOQUlnQk
See your most confident-highest version of you showing up in that game time situation and see yourself succeeding!
Go here for help practicing visualization with my step-by-step guide...
What do you do?! She has to keep going, right?!
She probably wants to quit because...
Coaches just aren't understanding her
Too much pressure
Can't take the failure any longer
She's just unhappy out there
Her social life is non-existent
This is where the Mental Game comes in...
I know the main focus in sports is the physical component and the skills that need to be practiced, but what we are missing is the foundation, YOUR DAUGHTER'S MINDSET!
What your daughter is saying and thinking is the most important thing because what you say and what you think is WHAT YOU BELIEVE!
So, if she's hearing her coach only criticize her results and never encourage her efforts, she's probably saying and thinking...
I'll never be good at this whole hitting outside pitches thing
Why do I even try anymore
I should just quit
This is too hard
Or maybe she's doing it to herself - her own worst critic!
Either way... the...