Every time I think about the phrase, “letting go, let go, let it go,” I’m singing Frozen
But, on a serious note… letting go of expectations…
This is hard stuff you guys.
I know because I think I have some of the highest expectations ever. I’m pretty sure it started when I was in like 1st grade.
I expected a lot of success from myself. In school, in sports, in life, in my business today!
Those expectations have held me back though. Those expectations have put so much pressure, it’s actually done damage instead of good.
So, how do we let go of expectations (there is Elsa again…)?
It’s just thinking about them differently.
Here is an example…
I’m about to step into the box. Runners are in scoring position. It’s MY JOB to help my team score by getting a hit in this at bat. Pressure is on.
Big expectations me is thinking…
I have to get a hit.
If I don’t get a hit, we won’t win....
If you’re not feeling confident, in a rut, going through a slump… you’re going to love this super easy way to boost your confidence.
If you’ve been following along, you know that I’m a believer in visualization. It’s such a powerful tool for athletes to create confidence.
When you visualize your mind is tricking your body into thinking you really did whatever you visualized.
You’re just seeing yourself succeeding and doing what you want to happen in your games, practice, school, wherever!
This super easy way to boost confidence is a form of visualization.
I’m calling it the Confidence Boosting Highlight Album - let me know if you have a better name!
Here’s what you need to try out
1 What I want you to do is create a photo album in your phone or tablet (or parent’s phone) and name it something like Confident Highlights, Confidence Booster, Game Day Album… get creative!
2 Find videos, clips, photos of you C R U S H...
Yeppp… you read that right.
Just like failure can be used for good, to help you grow, learn, improve, comparison can be a good thing too.
I think that we always will compare ourselves in some shape or form. So instead of resisting and pushing it away and trying not to, let’s embrace it. Let’s use it as fuel to our fire!
We get to choose how we use comparison.
We can be threatened and feel jealous when comparing ourselves…
We can be inspired by others!
It’s all a mindset. It’s thinking differently.
When I start to compare myself to people I follow or see doing really amazing and incredible things, I tell myself this affirmation…
“If she can do it, I can do it.”
Now, let’s be honest. There are plenty of times I’ve been scrolling on Instagram (the scroll hole) and I’ve started to get into threatened-jealous-icky comparison mode.
So, figure out what triggers those feelings and...
Ever think like this?
Why don’t I believe in myself?
I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough for ___________?
I’m trying so hard, but it’s not working.
My confidence sucks.
These are negative thoughts, self doubt, and fear taking over you.
We talk about being confident, being mentally tough, having a good mindset all the time, but do we actually do anything about it?
Not really. At least I didn’t when I was playing sports growing up.
So, how the heck are you supposed to get better at this confidence stuff?
How do you create confidence?
I’ve got YOU! This is what I do. I give you the HOW.
Here’s a quick start to start creating confidence for yourself
1 Start writing, telling, and owning confident statements about yourself
Examples: I belong here. I am a powerful asset to my team. I am important.
Write them everyday
Put them in places you’ll see them (water bottle, equipment, door, nightstand, etc.)
Act like you believe them with...
Have you ever wondered why you are going to or paying for lessons, but not feeling like you’re killin’ it out on the field or court?
Like the things from lessons aren’t transitioning to your game-time performance?
This video and conversation is for YOU then!
I have a very special guest today! We have BJ Johnson, founder of SFS Athletics. He is a private “swing” coach for softball players. And he is REALLY GOOD at what he does.
I brought BJ on as a guest speaker so you can get an inside look at why his hitters are c-r-u-s-h-i-n-g out there. Like lots of homeruns people.
Another reason I brought BJ on was because I admire the way he just “gets working with athletes. Especially girl athletes. He builds these girls up. He’s a coach that instills belief in the girls.
What is different about SFS and his lessons
His coaching style and approach that helps his hitters believe in themselves
Why his athletes are finding more...
I want to preface this with, I love my dad!
But… been there, done that.
Just like in anything, we aren’t perfect. Sometimes we yell.
This is always really tough because underneath all the emotions, yelling, or tough conversations, everyone just cares... A LOT.
Your dad or mom probably yells at you or gets upset with you because they know you are capable of SO MUCH!
But, it still hurts. It’s still so frustrating in the moment.
Here’s what you do in this situation…
1 Be respectful. Ignoring, rolling eyes, being rude doesn’t help in this situation.
2 Listen, but detach the emotions and the message. Try your best to hear the message without the anger, frustration, negativity. Figure out how you can learn from what his/her message is.
3 Know what you can control >> your reaction, your attitude, your interpretation.
4 Afterwards when things have settled down a bit, ask your dad/mom to have a conversation so you can set a boundary for yourself...
I had SO MUCH DOUBT as an athlete.
The doubt sounded like this…
What if I don’t get a hit and they take me out?
Am I good enough to be a Division 1 catcher?
What if I let my family down?
Will my batting average be as good as last season?
I don’t think I can get a hit off this girl…
And the list of doubtful thoughts goes on and on and on.
I’m here to tell you today that, IT’S OKAY TO HAVE DOUBT.
I had to work hard at turning this doubt into confidence. I had to embrace a new mindset.
What the heck does a new mindset even mean?!
It just means to start thinking about something differently.
I started to push back and question these doubtful thoughts I was having.
Thinking differently sounded like this…
What if I do get a hit?!
What if a school chooses me because they love the player and person that I am??!
What if I just play for me? For fun?!
I’m calling you out today!
You know that moment I’m talking about. When you’ve made a mistake and…
It’s all you can think about.
You’re being super hard on yourself.
Telling yourself you suck.
Feeling like total crap all day.
You’ve got a bad attitude.
Even though… you did a lot of other really great things.
What’s the point of it?! What’s the point of being negative?
Hint, hint… the answer is there is NO POINT!
And I’m sure you’re thinking, “okay, well great Paige, but it’s hard to be positive in these moments.”
I know! I get it. .
I want you to think about pushing back against the negativity.
I want you to think about questioning it right back.
I want you to think about getting curious about your negative thoughts.
Here are some ideas…
What if I just learn from this?
What if I show up even better the next time?
What is this teaching me?
What if I let it go?
It seems like we’ve all been here before, am I right?!
I would let mistakes just absolutely ruin my day, my weekend, my week! I remember so many times just beating myself up over some mistakes.
This is not fun at all. It hurts. It feels crappy. It puts you in a bad mood. It makes you do things you’re not proud of.
I honestly look back at my time playing and wonder how I kept going at times.
But, mistakes are part of competing. Mistakes are part of being an athlete.
So, what are we going to do about this?! Because I promise you that you don’t want to keep going like this. There is a powerful, amazing, confident version of you inside waiting to shine out on that field or court.
Here are some simple things to help you start getting over your mistakes and play with confidence!
1 Set an intention for the game or practice!
Think about what you want to focus on for your upcoming game…
Focusing on playing with a ton of energy.
As I sat down to write about leadership and how it gets confused with being bossy too often, I’m thinking about my brothers rolling their eyes
Wayyyyy too often, I have girls that tell me they don’t really want to be a leader because that means they are bossy.
This is soooo wrong.
The reason we get this confused is because a girl on a team might have the title “leader” or “captain” but it’s not about the title. It’s about how you treat your teammates.
So, let’s get this straight. You do not have to be bossy to be a great leader.
The greatest leaders I’ve seen and experienced…
Lead by example
Care and empathize
Here is one easy way to step into leadership without being bossy…
The power of WE
Start using “we” instead of pointing fingers and telling your teammates what to do.
Let me give you an example from my own experience.
When I played high school softball, it was...