I used to think that life just wasn’t fair. It always felt like the odds were stacked against me. The coaches wouldn’t give me enough opportunities to shine. The ball wouldn’t fall where it was supposed to. I wasn’t performing when I needed to. My dad was too hard on me.
But my lack of success (in my mind because I was actually pretty successful) wasn’t because of all those things.
It was because I was holding myself back. ME!
The thing is… it’s not always going to go our way, but it’s what you do with every moment, situation, opportunity, or even STRUGGLE.
If I wanted different results, I had to do something different. I had to get out of my own way.
Before my senior year of college started, I made some commitments to myself.
Fun was important because this was my LAST year!
Give it everything I have because I won’t ever get to play this game at this level again.
Show up as the best version of myself everyday...
Are you that stubborn one that will overthink every little mistake?
Pick apart everything and anything you did wrong?
Beat yourself up about it all?
I was her
It’s okay, a lot of us do this.
But, good news! We don’t have to!!
Instead of allowing these mistakes to bring us down into the fiery flames of frustration…
We are going to use it to fuel our confident fire!!!!
Time to turn mistakes into triumphs girls!!!
Follow this step by step after making a mistake:
1 Take a deep breath 3-5x
2 Ask yourself what went well
3 Ask yourself what didn’t go well (easy part)
4 Ask yourself what you learned and how to improve moving forward
5 Visualize what you want to happen next
6 Let it go (could sing Frozen here)
This is how you stop overthinking after every mistake!
This is how you gain confidence!
Hey, did you know that we are going to be practicing visualization, positive self talk, learning how to not be so hard on yourself, and MORE in the Confident Athlete Mini...
Trying to be perfect is only holding you back from GREATNESS.
Here’s what trying to be perfect did to me.
I tried to be perfect when I was playing softball. If I was perfect, that would mean that I would be the best. That would mean that I would go to my dream school. Break records. The whole thang!
But, I wasn’t the best… (don’t get me wrong, I was definitely up there and doing well).
I didn’t go to my dream school… (again, it all works out how it should and I LOVE Northwestern).
I broke some records… probably could have broken more.
It wasn’t until I let go of being perfect.
You’re probably wondering what the heck that even means or looks like.
I’m going to be 100% honest with you on what this was like for me…
My senior year of college (my best year yet), I decided this…
WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS!
This kind of sounds like I don’t care. But, it was the opposite.
You might be thinking that I’m just full of it because I am a Mindset Mentor. But, hear me out.
Yes, the physical skills and work are important. The lessons, the training, the practices are important. No doubt. Sorry girls, this isn’t a video saying forget the physical work (haha).
But, the mental work is just as important. Maybe even more important.
Here is why…
When you go to that private lesson and your instructor is showing you how to do something new and uncomfortable and for some reason you can’t make the adjustment to save your life, your frustration spirals.
You get down on yourself.
Sometimes you give up.
You wonder if you’ll ever be able to be great.
The doubt sets in.
The tears might come.
Now, at the end of your lesson, you’re frustrated, angry, mad, upset, and disappointed.
Almost feels like a waste of time, right?!
This is where the mental work is crucial for your development as an athlete.
When you are working on your...
The key to confidence is a mixture of things. Kind of like your favorite recipe.
My favorite recipe, hands down, is chocolate chip cookies!
When you make cookies, you can’t really deviate from the recipe or else they end up flat, or too salty, or burnt lol.
Same thing goes for your confidence. You have to consistently take action in order to have that confidence you want!
Here’s the recipe…
Recipe for Confidence
Visualize before practice/games and during practice/games
Write down affirmations every day
Say affirmations before practices/games and during practices/games
Use a planner
Work hard at practice
Breathe when things feel hard
Mix these ingredients together. Repeat daily. Trust the process, smile, and have fun. Results will happen.
There it is. Pretty simple!
Here are some resources to help you out with these ingredients!
We are all students.
What I mean by that, is we are always learning. Always growing.
On this journey I’ve been on to create my vision of helping girl athletes create confidence and kick @$& in their games, I’ve had to learn a lot. I’ve had to grow a lot.
And I definitely do it alone.
I’ve surrounded myself with other people creating visions (aka started a business and thriving).
I’ve asked a million questions from the people who have already done it. Have found success.
I watch those people closely and take a lot of notes.
I’ve watched, observed, asked, learned, and now I DO it in my own personal way that works for me.
What I am trying to say here is successful athletes and successful people learn from other successful athletes and people and then…
THEY TAKE ACTION IN THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAY.
So, what are the successful athletes doing?! And how can you start taking action doing what they are doing?
Successful athletes are…...
Yep. I was that girl.
I remember in that first week of school they would pass out our brand-spankin’-new planners for that school year.
One of my greatest strengths is organization. You can ask any of my friends or family. I am confident in that one!
I’d get that planner and I’d take it home.
Make sure the assignments or tests we already knew about were written in the planner.
If there was a test, I’d be figuring out when I was going to study.
I’d add my games and practices in there.
And, of course any special occasions! Birthdays, dances, activities!
Boom! Game plan!
By using my planner as a tool to stay organized consistently...
I was more successful
I got better grades
I was more productive
I was less stressed because I knew what was going on in my life
I was more confident!
I STILL use my planners TO THIS DAY. I am 28. I will use planners for a long, long time coming too!
I can confidently tell you that using my planner to stay...
I’ll give you the answer right away…
YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR MIND!
I had a Dad send me a message recently that said… “Not sure exactly what you are saying/doing with ________, but please keep it up. She was back to her old form yesterday. Pitched 2 gems. Much appreciated!!”
My response was… “Yessss (I get excited)! It’s all in there, just giving her some new tools!”
I want you to know that you have the confidence. It’s inside you. You just need a few tools to grow it and make it consistent.
You might be doubting what I’m telling you right now. Thinking… but, Paige… my confidence is…
Up and down.
All over the place.
You’ve probably also thought… I’d do anything to be confident!
Well, here it is girl!
Choose 1 of these things and do it consistently.
I mean like every single day! Be a freakin’ rockstar at it!
Write 3 affirmations down...
Mom or Dad,
I can feel your heart ache over the phone, in the comments of my social media, in my Facebook group for parents. I can feel how much you want your kiddo to succeed. To be happy. To be CONFIDENT!
I know you are trying everything you can. Which is why I’m here! The girls are my passion. I LOVE getting to work with them, but you are just as much on this journey to confidence.
Do you ever feel like no matter what you say, it just isn’t sinking in with your daughter?
Well, I’ve created a little guide on what to say to your daughter when she is feeling…
Afraid to mess up
1 Encourage her to think about what they can control
Effort: Susie, all you can do is give it your all!
Routine: Susie, use your routine, you’ve got this!
Breath: Susie, remember you can always take a deep breath whenever you need it!
Visualize: Susie, see yourself kickin’ butt out there!
Fun: Susie, it's about having fun. When...
Not feeling confident out on the field or the court? I feel ya, girl.
Having confidence is pretty important to perform at your best. Sometimes we feel it and sometimes we wonder if that feeling is ever going to come back.
When you’re not feeling that confidence, it really s-u-c-k-s!
You feel down.
You have a lot of doubt.
The motivation isn’t there.
You’re definitely not having any fun.
Then, you’re just stuck in this slump. This whole you can’t climb out of. And ALL you want is to just feel confident so you can play like you want to!
Here are the mistakes you are making when it comes to your mental game. Your mindset. Your thoughts.
1 You are being stubborn and holding onto the mistakes for way toooooo long.
Trust me girlfriend. I know it is hard to let it go. But, think of it this way…
Are you better off being stubborn and holding onto the mistakes? AKA feeling miserable, sad, and pouting around.
Are you better off letting it go, learning...