How to help your athlete control her emotions

Feb 28, 2022

Hey!

First off, I am SO excited for the new athletes that joined The Confident Athlete, it’s going to be such an incredible experience for them!

Second off, I’ve been LOVING these weekly Mindset Lessons with athletes!

Last week, one of the athletes shared that she has trouble controlling her emotions and even went on to share with me that the way we feel is out of our control. 

This was a red light for me!

I know that our thoughts lead to feelings/emotions.

I also know that I am in control of my thoughts (even though it seems like our thoughts control us sometimes - that’s not true). 

But this athlete, innocently, did not know these things. I mean why should she? She’s just gone on playing and competing, allowing her emotions to be out of her control. 

So, this week in Mindset Lessons we are focusing on how to control your emotions. 

If your daughter struggles to control her emotions…

Cries after failure

Shuts down 

Closes...

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How to help your athlete to stop overthinking

Feb 21, 2022

Is your daughter the ultimate overthinker?!

I was talking with an athlete in one of  last week’s Mindset Lessons and I asked her to share what she was thinking and feeling before she went to serve…

She listed out about 15 things and I was like oh, girl!!! You are thinking about wayyyyy too many things before you perform!

These thoughts, worries, doubts, fears just flood her mind and she doesn’t know how to let them go…

You’re over in the stands, or let’s face it, pacing back and forth, contemplating covering your eyes like it’s a scary movie because you can tell she’s doing that overthinking thing, looking defeated before anything has even happened yet! 

Good news for you, we will be working on exactly this in our Mindset Lessons THIS WEEK!

I’ll be walking the athletes that show up how to…

Notice triggering thoughts that are making her overthink

How to stop overthinking by KEEPING IT SIMPLE!

Focusing on the...

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How to gain confidence right before you play (hitting, serving, shooting, pitching, etc.)

Feb 14, 2022

Imagine this… you're watching your daughter at her softball game and she’s about to go up to bat. She already looks hesitant, maybe even scared up there. You’re already thinking, she’s toast. She has no confidence up there and you instantly worry about how she’s going to respond for the rest of that game and the rest of the weekend’s tournament.

Sound familiar? 

I know it can be so frustrating and even heartbreaking watching your daughter struggle to feel confident when you know how great she is.

I have TWO solutions for you that you can use right away!

1 I’m having a Parent Workshop just for parents like yourself that feel like that . It’s called, Confidence as an Athlete and Young Woman: Help your daughter build real, lasting, stable self-worth and value. 

We are going to cover these things that will help her in this exact situation

What to say to your daughter to help her build confidence (and what not to say)

How to...

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How to get out of your head after making a mistake

Feb 07, 2022

 

As an athlete, you don’t want to make mistakes. I mean, shoot, you practice, practice, practice, so you can show up your very best and perform on game day. But, that fear of making mistakes always likes to creep into your brain and get in the way, then BOOM…mistake. 

It’s totally normal to be frustrated after making a mistake.

It’s totally normal to be in your head after making a mistake.

It’s totally normal to overthink after making a mistake.

This just means you CARE. That you are passionate about the way you show up. But, these things won’t make you any better moving forward. 

You have to understand that failure is a good thing. Wrap your arms around that mistake and make friends because guess what? More mistakes are coming your way. It’s part of being an athlete!

So, here’s how you get out of your head after making a mistake…

You have to learn from it and move forward!

We are going to be talking about how...

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Afraid to be judged?

Jan 31, 2022

In this past week’s Mindset Lessons (if you don’t know what these are, click that link for all the details), I had multiple athletes tell me they’d like to talk about letting go of what others think about their performance.

So, naturally, that’s what today’s tip is all about!

Are you afraid to be judged? Do it anyway!! Okay, okay… easier said than done, right?!

You are not alone, first off. So many of us are afraid to speak up, ask a question, go first, raise our hand, try something new, go all out with the possibility of messing up out of the fear of being judged by others.

Here’s the reality, the truth. Whenever you do it anyway and put yourself out there, you give people something to respond to. Whether you like it or not.

But, here’s what I want you to always remember…

You can’t control how other people will perceive you or judge you. Trust me, it’s not worth your time or energy trying to control it.

You will...

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Instant feel-good confidence

Dec 27, 2021

2022 is just about here! Can you believe it?! 

I hope you had a Merry, merry Christmas and are getting ready to ring in the New Year!

One of my absolute favorite things to do at the end of the year is to reflect. I know, it doesn’t sound glamorous or as cool as making vision boards (hint, hint, we’ll be doing this in January), but reflecting is so eye-opening anddddddd… can give you some instant feel-good confidence!

It is so powerful looking back at the beginning of 2021 and seeing how far you’ve come in just one year.

Because we are constantly being hard on ourselves and not thinking we are where we want to be, the athletes I’ve done this with and myself included are always surprised with the progress we’ve made. 

So, are you ready to surprise yourself?! 

Here’s how we do this reflection thing.

1 Get out a piece of paper and pen/pencil.

2 Set a timer for 10 minutes. 

3 Brainstorm ALL of the progress you’ve made...

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Imagine if you did this before your next game...

Dec 20, 2021

Are you focused on the negative outcomes? What might go wrong? Afraid to fail? 

What if you said all of these things before your next game instead of worrying about all the things that might not go successfully?

I am STRONG. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am in POWER. I TRUST myself.  I CHARGE forward when things get tough. I trust my GUT. I love CHALLENGES. I can do anything I set my MIND to. I EMPOWER others around me. I LEAD with purpose. I bet on MYSELF. I am a DREAMER and a DOER. I make a DIFFERENCE and I am IMPORTANT. I choose HAPPINESS. I am a WARRIOR in competition and life. I am CONFIDENT. 

How do you think you would feel? Excited? Motivated? Confident?

Try this before your next game! You can use these exact affirmations that are the motto for The Confident Athlete!

Remember, what you think and say is what you believe, so be intentional about what you are thinking and saying before games!

Did you know I have a free Self Talk Practice you can download and work on what you...

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10 things that don't matter as an athlete

Dec 13, 2021

When I think about my time as an athlete now that I’m an “adult,” I start to think about all the little things that seemed so big that don’t even matter anymore (or should have when I was that younger athlete).

Here it goes... 

Things that don’t matter as an athlete:

  1. What your coach thinks you are capable of doing - YOU are the only one that needs to think you are capable
  2. Mistakes - Of course to an extent, but mistakes aren’t going to make or break your entire career, learn from them
  3. Athlete rankings - Low? Prove them wrong. High? Keep your head down, stay humble, and work hard
  4. What level college you go to - There is a school for YOU and DIII schools are just as important as DI schools
  5. What college your parents think you should go to - YOU have to be there and do the work, pick a school that fits YOU
  6. Comparing yourself to everyone else - You’ll never be her and that’s what makes you SO special, so use your gifts and be the best...
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Read this if you need a pep talk

Dec 06, 2021

Hey girl (mom, dad, coach),

I know that sometimes it feels like you are falling short or feeling stuck or just not feeling like you are doing enough or good enough.

Here is my pep talk for you: 

1 Thoughts are just thoughts, not facts

We have thousands and thousands of thoughts a day. A lot of times our thoughts try to trick us into believing negative crap. Made up stories about ourselves. They are just thoughts oftentimes. Remind yourself of what is TRUE! 

2 Remember, you are exactly where you need to be

It’s easy to get caught up in where we want to be. Trust me, there are many times I catch myself wishing I was further along or already hitting a big goal I have for myself. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Slow down, take a look around, and notice all the things you can be grateful for. Notice that you are exactly where you wanted to be just a few months or a few years ago. 

3 Small steps every day

You don’t always have to go...

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Don't be afraid to go first

Nov 22, 2021

I know it’s scary to go first.

I know it feels embarrassing to say the wrong thing, give the wrong answer in class, feel dumb for asking a question, or mess up the drill at practice.

But, did you know… I think it’s the coolest thing when a girl pushes her fear aside and steps up to volunteer. To go first!

It says a lot about the person you are when you have the guts to just go first.

Leader

Confident

Brave

Trailblazer 

Courageous

You can be those things!

If you’re worried about what your teammates will think, what your fellow students will think, what your coaches will think, or what anyone else might think…

...you’re going to miss out.

When you go first, you learn.

When you ask questions, you learn.

When you say the wrong thing, you learn. And by the way, WHO CARES?! I’m sure someone else was thinking it too!

Don’t be afraid to go first.

Step up because the ones that go first go the furthest.

Paige

P.S. That self-talk...

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