We've all been there…
Maybe you finally downloaded one of my freebies and you're going to start working on your mental game.
Maybe you were going to write down some goals to work on the mental game.
Maybe you don't even know where to start…
And instead... you start scrolling the gram for hours (playing video games anything but being productive).
Then, just like this silly reel...
You don't feel confident.
Went 0-3 in your game (bad performance).
Lost your D1 scholarship.
Your parents are disappointed in you.
You're still not confident.
Everyone keeps telling you to work on your mental game, but do you know how to work on your mental game?
Replay with a for yes OR a for no
Keep on keepin’ on,
I know I talk about thoughts and words and self talk a lot, but I’m SO serious!
Your words are so incredibly powerful.
They can be the difference in you being confident or stuck in the self-sabotage cycle for wayyyyy too long.
I can C L E A R L Y remember in my first 3 years playing college softball for Northwestern, I was telling myself such crap (not the smiling emoji kind).
I remember going into my at-bats telling myself things like…
I can’t get a hit off this girl
If I don’t get a hit, I’ll get pulled out of the lineup
If I don’t get a hit, my batting average will drop
If I don’t get a hit, I’ll disappoint my parents
Literally setting myself up for failure. I was defeated before I even stepped in that box. I didn’t even give myself a real shot.
I can also C L E A R L Y remember when I started telling myself powerful words instead.
Hitting is easy
I can hit anything this girl throws me
Don’t you hate it when girls are too confident...
We freakin’ love it!
Girllllll! Own your confidence unapologetically!
Show up big!
Do your thing!
It’s okay to be confident! It’s not rude. It’s not annoying. It’s not too much. Your confidence is what will allow others to be confident!
When you’re confident, GREAT THINGS HAPPEN!
Not sure where to start? Or how to create that confidence?
I’ve got you covered
The Confident Athlete Program is opening up this summer! Get on the waitlist for ALL the details, bonuses, and more!
Keep on keepin’ on,
If you are the girl who is…
Super hard on yourself
Your own worst enemy
Let the results determine your play
Always getting down on yourself
..then this one is for you girl!
If you want to really believe in yourself and feel that true confidence, you HAVE to start celebrating the wins more.
This is all about balance. It can be a really simple shift of mindset!
As athletes our balance is usually tipped to one side. The side of being hard on ourselves, looking at what we need to improve on, what isn’t good enough, etc. etc., you get the point!
We rarely look at all the things we are doing well, like the consistency, the action we take, the little things!
I like to think of video in this situation. Athletes watch a lot of video, but usually we are looking at all the things that went wrong and what we need to improve -- which is a good thing because this is what makes us better….
But! I want you to start thinking about watching more of the video where you...
It’s reel time, I mean go time!
Getting on this reel train via Instagram for real though (no pun intended there)! I mean, what better way to describe when you focus on the things you can control that the real magic happens (lol at me dancing)?!
When you start to feel your thoughts and expectations drifting towards things you can’t control like…
That bad call
Your coach getting mad at you
The mistake you just made
Your parents yelling random stuff from the stands
... start focusing on the things you can ACTUALLY control instead like…
Your self talk
SO MANY THINGS!
When you do this… I promise you that you’ll play more relaxed, have more fun, and play with the freakin’ confidence you know you deserve!
That’s when the results fall right into place.
I’ve got you girl. We practice ALLLLL of those...
If you never ask, you might never get it.
I know it can be scary, uncomfortable, nerve wracking to talk to your coach and ask for what you want, but here’s the thing…
Your coach has all of your other teammates and things on their plate. Don’t take it personally, but you might not be top of mind all the time.
That’s why it’s so important to ask for what you want. Which usually is a conversation with your coach (or teacher or boss or etc.).
Think about the direction of your goals and dreams so you know what you want to ask for.
The other really important thing about asking for what you want is that you are speaking what you want into existence. Physically telling someone else. The reason this is important is because you’re not only thinking about it, but this is the first step of taking action towards what you want.
So, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone in order to really go for what you want.
I can clearly remember the times I had...
Yepppp, I said it. You heard it correctly!
I’m not anti-negative thoughts.
The idea of never having negative thoughts just isn’t realistic.
Negative thoughts are going to happen and THAT IS OKAY!
You’re good! You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. Everyone has some shape and form of negative thoughts.
The reasons you have negative thoughts are one of these…
You’re an ATHLETE!
So, if negative thoughts are okay, then what?
We have to do something with them, right?!
You called it.
Here’s what we can do with these annoying negative thoughts that aren’t going away…
1 Shift your thoughts
Get aware of when they happen and start to figure out how you can start to shift them in a different way, which leads me to…
2 Think differently
Think differently about your failures (AKA use them to get better and learn). Think differently about your...
You want that starting spot or a different position so bad!
1 Communicate with your coach
I know this can be a scary or uncomfortable conversation, but it’s the most important step! You have to know what the coach wants out of you and what the team needs in order to figure out what you can do to earn that starting position.
2 Set the goals
Once you know what you need to work on or improve on, you can set goals!
3 Set the action goals and take action
Now, it’s time to get to work. Figure out what you need to work on daily. Weekly. CONSISTENTLY in order to accomplish those goals that will get you that starting spot.
4 Learn from your mistakes
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean you won’t get a starting spot. It’s what you do with the mistakes. The athlete that knows how to learn and get better from their mistakes will be the most successful!
5 Seek help!
Reach out to people who inspire...
I was 22.
Just graduated from Northwestern University.
Ready for my next chapter.
Sounds great, right?!
Nope. It was terrible.
I wasn’t an athlete anymore.
I didn’t belong anywhere.
I had NO IDEA what I was going to do in this next chapter (well I had some ideas).
I didn’t have life all figured out.
I still don’t have FULLY figured out.
That’s the point though.
I met a new friend. Dr. Tim Jordan. We met because I started listening to his podcast, Raising Daughters. We had such a great conversation about this topic exactly. Not having life all figured out. He told me a lot of the girls he counsels feel so much pressure and stress because they don’t have it all figured out.
(Insider Tip: Reach out to people who inspire you!!!)
He told me about this concept he came up with, the dot concept. Remember those dot pictures where you’d connect the dots and ended up with some sort of picture?!
He told me that’s kind of what life is like. You...
What will my coaches think?
What will my teammates think?
What will my parents think?
What will I think about myself?
These are the thoughts that pop into our head when we compete.
Mine sounded a little more like…
What if I don’t get the hit and they take me out?
I have to get this hi or else…
It’s negative. It’s self doubt. It’s fear.
When I had these thoughts, I was just setting myself up for failure. I created the results with just my thoughts.
I tell the girls in The Confident Athlete to “Fake it till you make it.”
To be honest, I didn’t love this saying because who wants to be fake?!
I want the real deal. True confidence!
Here is how “Fake it till you make it” works.
The more positive, encouraging, powerful, confident thoughts we can put in our head and surround ourselves with, the more we will believe it.
At first, a positive thought might not feel like the truth. And, that’s okay!
But, just like...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.