I was working with one of my girls last week and she told me that she didn’t want to be a leader because that means she would have to be bossy.
Honestly, my heart sank a little bit. All I could think was… shoot, if she thinks this, more girl athletes think this too.
Myth: Leader = Bossy
Truth: Leader = Inspiring
So, how do you be inspiring??
1 YOU JUST BE YOU!
You are unique and special in your own way.
The world needs all different kinds of leaders.
YOUR TEAM needs all different kinds of leaders.
There are athletes that need a quiet, subtle, lead by example kind of leader and some athletes need a more outgoing, bigger personality kind of leader.
We resonate differently with different people.
There are more women doing exactly what I do, but some like them more and some like more. AND THAT’S OKAY!
2 BE INCLUSIVE!
Nobody likes being “told” what to do.
What not to say: “Hey! Stop slacking and go pick up those balls over...
BTW… I’m not going to give you a tip or an exercise or a lesson, but I am going to share something that will help you SO MUCH.
Everyone has been talking about a pivotal moment. Something that changed them forever.
I didn’t think I had one.
BUT I DO!
I’ve been doing some deep thinking about my journey to where I am at today.
And just like you, it’s had ups, downs, peaks, valleys, ultimate highs, ultimate lows, twists, turns, top-of-the-world feelings, and gut punches.
The moment that changed me as an athlete and a person…
Was the beginning of my senior year of college.
Just to let you know… it hasn’t been all glorious rainbows and unicorns since my senior year, but this moment I’m about to tell you about was everything.
This moment I’m about to tell you about was my first REAL step towards faith, towards God and his plan (and I didn’t even know it until today).
I battled and...
I recently listened to a class from Jen Schroeder, former UCLA softball student-athlete and current owner of The Packaged Deal, all about how to have unshakeable confidence.
IT WAS GOOOOOD.
It made me think about my journey to my own unshakeable confidence.
Growing up playing softball, I can tell you that my confidence was far from unshakeable. It was…
I was barely holding it together through the recruiting process.
Once the eyes were on me.
Once the pressure started.
Once my dreams were on the line.
I didn’t hit like I knew I could.
I wasn’t coming in clutch.
I was striking out more than I wanted.
I felt like a failure.
My biggest fear kept coming up. That I wouldn’t play softball for a big competitive school.
By the grace of God, Kate Drohan, head coach at Northwestern University, found a need for me. To this day, I do believe it was because of the person I am, not just my skills...
Are you working on your mental game as much as your physical game?!
BECAUSE YOU NEED TO!
What you say and think is what you believe.
So, what are you saying and thinking about yourself?
Especially when hits the fan at practice or in your game or maybe just when you are working on something when no one is watching.
Those negative thoughts and doubts are going to happen.
“Omg. I’m such a failure.”
“Why can’t I do this?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I’ll never be as good as her.”
And it’s okay to have these thoughts ONLY if you take control and change them.
How do you change your thoughts?!
PRACTICING YOUR SELF TALK! Not when it’s hard. Not when you’re in the middle of failure. Every single day !
You have to practice self talk daily to have confidence.
I know it seems like it is hard to find time to work on your mental game, but it is...
You’re probably thinking, yeah right?! How is this girl, Paige, going to get my daughter to listen to me? Eye roll X 12.
The thing is…
You’re doing it wrong.
Oops. Did I say that out loud? Lol. Well, maybe not all of you… but, this is still important.
Your daughter might not be listening to you, but they sure as heck are watching you.
Watching your every move.
So, I have some questions for you!
How do you respond to failure?
How do you react to disappointment?
What do you do when someone (your kids) make you so angry?
What is your morning routine?
How do you handle stress?
What are you doing to stay motivated?
Okay, woah. I’ll stop there. That’s enough to reflect on for one day. But! I’ve got you thinking, right?!
We teach these girls to be leaders. To lead by example.
They are watching you, not listening to you. Lead by example!
I used to think that it was all my coaches’ fault.
I look back and I totally played “the victim card” at times.
You’re probably thinking… what the heck is the victim card?
It’s this thing when you blame everyone else for why your life and success isn’t going the way you want it and instead of taking action and taking responsibility you find the easy way out.
It’s okay, there’s more than enough time to turn this thing around.
I have had coaches that...
were really hard on me
yelled at me
were disappointed in me
I have also had coaches that…
pushed me because they knew I had more
I used to think my lack of confidence was because of my coach.
I used to think that my lack of playing time was because of my coach.
But it was me.
I know NOW...
When things started to get really serious, all I could think of was how do I show up even bigger for these girls? These girl athletes who have lost their sport. Lost their seasons. Lost their way.
If I am feeling sadness, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, stress, uncertainty, and so many more emotions, these girls must be feeling them too.
So, I added bonus sessions for the girls in my mentorship to start because I wanted to create a place they could come together and keep growing. To keep getting better. To keep taking steps towards their goals and dreams. To stay consistent. To keep a positive mindset. To work on confidence. To keep routine in their lives.
It’s been AMAZING already. The girls are LOVING it. So, I decided I wanted to invite more of the girl athlete community in on this!
What is it?
2 sessions a day
Monday through Friday (like school)
*Until April 3rd at least with possibility to extend
We are always the hardest on ourselves.
Our own worst critic.
I remember as an athlete, I was thinking…
I could have done that better.
My teammate is so much better at hitting than me.
I want to be better so badly.
Even though we won, I’m still mad about that one play.
Being our own worst enemy is exhausting and just depressing sometimes. It leads to burn out and lack of motivation. We squeeze all the fun out of playing and competing.
Good news! Here is the solution. A start to helping your daughter give herself some grace, patience, self love, and confidence.
Solution: Changing the way she thinks and talks about the game and herself as an athlete.
This changed everything for me.
After I started visualizing success, practicing self talk, and being mindful…
I was happier as an athlete and a person.
I was a better teammate, friend, and...
Dad says to you, “Emma, just go out there and be confident!”
Coach says to you, “Hannah, just believe in yourself next time!”
You’re probably thinking, “Ummm...okay, that sounds good, but I really don’t feel confident at all deep down. How the heck am I supposed to feel confident and believe in myself?
Especially if you just made a total fool of yourself in the last play or at bat!
I feel you.
I wanted to feel confident more than anything in the world. Just like you.
So, why aren’t you confident?
I’m going to be straight up with you right now because I want you to be confident SO BADLY!
You aren’t putting in the mental work. You are doing all the physical work, but you are forgetting the core, the foundation, the key element.
Your brain controls your confidence.
To feel confident, you have to start telling yourself…
How you want to show up
Who you want...
I had the Mind + Body Camp for the Firecrackers - Arizona Softball Organization here in the Phoenix area and this is how it impacted just one team!
First off, you might be thinking… “What is the Mind + Body Camp?!”
The Mind + Body Camp is a way for your team to work on their physical softball (sports) skills (examples: hitting, defense, conditioning) while learning new mental skills, then putting it all together through challenges and competition!
This camp is for girls and teams that...struggle with their confidence, get down on themselves easily, do really well at practice and fall apart in the game, or have a hard time balancing school and softball (sports) at times.
At this camp the girls learn ALL of this...
How to visualize and see themselves succeeding
How to practice and execute positive self talk
How to break through their mental blocks and fears
How to practice gratitude (this one is great for parents when they come home grateful)