Last weekend, I was able to watch a ton of college softball. This was always my favorite weekend playing because it was the first weekend and we always played in Arizona at the ASU tournament. I’ll never forget my first game ever as a division 1 softball player. I got the start as a freshman catcher against Oklahoma (nothin’ like your first at bat against Keilani Ricketts)!
Besides the fact that this first weekend in February always takes me back to the glory days (well, with lots of ups and downs) I had so many thoughts and huge takeaways for muh girls!!
Here it goes!
1Your investment and focus is EVERYTHING!
I watched these big time teams, Northwestern, Tennessee, ASU, Arizona, Utah, etc. and what I noticed was that every single girl that was on that field (pitcher, infield, outfield, the bench) were FREAKIN’ dialed in!
What does that mean?
They moved around each pitch B R I N G I N G the energy!
They communicated with PASSION!
How it plays out...
Mom/Dad: Why did you swing at that pitch over your head?!
Daughter: I don't know! I just did (starts to cry because can't stop thinking about how she's such a failure).
As the daughter in this, a lot of times, I...
didn't feel grateful
So, I am just gonna lay it all out there. Straight up!
Parents! I love you and I know you love your kids, but...
STOP telling your daughter what she did wrong. She most likely already knows what she did wrong.
START asking your daughter how she is doing or if she is okay.
"Why did you do this?" or "You should of done that!"
"What did you learn today?" or "What did you do well today?" or "What can you do to improve?" and "How are you going to do that?"
I know... you want to help and control it...
I have spoken and mentored many teams and athletes now. The #1 thing they crave and want is...
If you want confidence, just like most things...
YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT!
I have some EASY things you can do to get this confidence!
The challenging part is being committed and consistent!
Step 1: Visualization and meditation
Seeing yourself succeeding and accomplishing your goals will GROW your confidence.
Go use my freebie download at paigetonz.com to practice visualization!
Step 2: Gratitude practice
Writing down and thinking about what you're grateful for give you a kick start, prospective, and more purpose!
Example: Grateful for my mentor, for my family, for my faith, for constant opportunities, for my failures teaching me and helping me grow, for my health.
Are you ready,?! Is your daughter ready?!
But... are you/your daughter ready to feel...
CONFIDENT and PREPARED for tryouts and season?
worried about this season's results
not good enough
fear of failure
afraid to let people down
No matter what you/your daughter did or didn't do to prepare - there is still hope!
I can help you/your daughter...
get your mindset and attitude in check
build up your confidence
create a plan of ACTION to feel amazing going into tryouts and upcoming season
I can help you (mom + dad)...
help your daughter create all the positivity
know what to say to her when she's feeling nervous or in her own head
Here's the secret recipe!
a plan of action
Not sure how to do these things on your own? No stress!
I am doing a FREE Live Pre-Season Mindset...
Unfortunately, this comes up way too often. BUT! It's a part of sports - part of the game and competition.
But most of us have had those coaches that...
yell at you
are so sarcastic it hurts
make you feel worthless
deplete your self confidence
the list could go on and on...
Bad news: You can't change them.
Good news: You can change you!
You're probably like, what?! Heck no! Coach blankity blank sucks, not me!
I know, I feel your pain! Been there, done that!
Here's the thing though...
You want these things below right?!
to feel happy
to have confidence
to play like a [email protected]$&
to have fun
to not go home crying
That's what I thought! So, listen up!
It's time to take control of you instead of worrying how the coach is,...
I'm not going to lie to you. I was focused on the results for A LONG TIME. I still catch myself focusing in on the results instead of what I should be focusing on.
I wanted the...
highest batting average
record for the most RBI's
best fielding percentage
But, that mentality only got me so far.. I did okay, maybe just slightly above average. It never felt like enough. I knew deep down I had more in me.
I WANTED TO BE GREAT!
When I worried about the results...
I was tense
I had horrible thinking when it wasn't perfect
my attitude sucked when the results didn't match up to my expectations
I was a crap teammate because I was being selfish
Here's the trick.
Focusing on the things you CAN control.
I know.... rocket science, right?! You've heard this one before, but hear me out.
SERIOUSLY! - this is no joke!
When things took off in my softball career...
So many things to achieve, accomplish, succeed at.
But, you're over her being Negative Nancy!
It's okay, first of all.
It happens to me too. Heck, it happens to a LOT of other girls, athletes, grown ups, CEO's and way more.
Are you ready to make a change?
Are you ready to actually achieve your 2020 goals?
Are you ready to be the best you can be?
It starts with your mind.
In 2020 you have to make your mind a priority.
You're at practice and you just can't get that one thing right AGAIN!
It's just flat out dumb.
Time to make your mind priority.
Here's what you do next...
1. Take a deep breath (ask for a water break or something)
2. Ask yourself, "What did I do well?"
3. Ask yourself, "What did I not do well?
4. Ask yourself, "How can I learn, grown, and get better?
5. Take another deep breath. Seriously.
6. Take ACTION. You've got this!
This is what I call the overcoming...
Here's the deal...
BUT... you haven't put the work in that you know you should of.
It's not too late to boost your confidence though! You can still go into this thing with the right mindset.
Your mind is POWERFUL!
Here's what you need to do before you start.
Step 1: Breathe. I mean big deep breaths!
Step 2: Get Present. Let go of what you did or didn't do and get focused on right now!
Step 3: Self Talk. Start telling yourself empowering words.
Step 4: Breathe AGAIN. Big inhale. Big exhale. You've got this!
If you do this, you are raising your chances to be more successful going into it with your MIND right!
And remember this!
DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN!
The most important thing is you learn from how you felt and you create a...
Is this your daughter?
She's half in, half out.
Which only leads to average or below average outcomes... which sucks for her and for you, right?!
You can't figure out why she cant just trust herself!
Well, this is why...
Her thoughts and her self talk just don't add up to "confidence."
She's probably thinking...
What if I strike out?
What if I let my team down?
She's probably saying...
I'm never going to be as good as Sally Sue.
I"m not even that great.
She's probably hearing...
Don't swing at that.
You can't do it like that.
Don't do it like this.
What we think and say is what we BELIEVE!
Here is a simple way to practice thinking and saying positive, encouraging, empowering, confident things so your daughter can start BELIEVING!
Have her brain dump "I am ____________" statements. You can even do this with her. Brain dump your own "I am ___________"...
Is your daughter...
nervous in pressure situations?
hard on herself after a tough game?
stressed out trying to juggle all the school and sports?
I get it. Your daughter doesn't want to listen to you, but just in case she is listening, here are some things to help her be more confident.
1 What she can control = effort, attitude, mindset
PRAISE THE HECK OUT OF THIS!!!!
Remind her how important her self talk is
Use your own personal examples that you have experienced as an adult to relate to her
2 What she CAN'T control = the results and the outcomes
Remind her that the outcomes and the results are out of our control
Talk about how she can adjust the process and her strategy to direct new results
Let her tell you the new plan and what she can do to create change!
3 Her growth mindset
It's a process.
Forget the comparison.
She is enough.
How can she grow and learn?!
You know when you mess up. So do we as daughters. Let's focus on...