This was one of the questions that came up in The Confident Athlete live group Zoom calls this past week and it made me think about my answer for this.
Here was my answer to these girls:
It's not like I worked on my mindset and now I'm cured. I'm not 100% confident, 100% of the time. I'm human!
Think about it as different subjects in school. You have English, History, Math, Science, etc. Your grades in each of these subjects vary. 95% in English. 80% in Math. You get the point.
Confidence is kind of like those subjects in school. You might be...
100% confident in your defense.
60% confident in your offense.
75% confident in making new friends.
40% confident in asking for help.
Sometimes it varies.
But, here's what I know is true. I know that when I started focusing on what I was thinking and working on my mindset, my confidence was BOOMING! Because... what we think and say is what we believe.
It took me less than 6 months to turn my confidence around my...
I know. It's super hard to stay positive when you are in the middle of a game, competing. Especially when you start to feel nervous, the pressure is on, or after you make a mistake and can't stop beating yourself up over it.
Here's what I want you to do in your next game to stay positive even when you're going off the negative deep end:
1 Write down a positive, encouraging, powerful, confident affirmation!
Example: I am valuable no matter what happens and I can do anything I set my mind to!
2 Put that new affirmation somewhere you will be able to see it during your game.
Examples: Small note in your pocket, on your hand/arm, on some tape, right on your equipment, on your water bottle, etc. Get creative!
3 During your next game, LOOK AT IT and TRUST IT!
It's all about choosing better thoughts!
Want some accountability? Post your reminder on social media and tag me! I can't wait to see your reminder!
I probably wouldn't have told anyone I wasn't "confident" when I was playing softball…
It was more like I just was filled with doubt when it was my turn to perform (aka get in the batters box).
What if I get out?
What if I let my dad down?
What if I suck?
What if my coach doesn't believe in me?
All the doubtful thoughts filled my head and put enormous amounts of pressure on me.
Can you relate?!
I'm with you. But, I have a SOLUTION! Thought editing. I made this up lol. I kept thinking about all of those paragraphs and papers I had to edit in school.
Cross out a word and choose a new one
Rephrase that sentence
Add punctuation there
Well, that's what we can do with our thoughts too.
1Write down your doubtful thoughts (the negative crap going on in your head).
2Make the edits needed to create a powerful thought (sometimes this means scrapping the whole original thought).
3Re-write that beautiful, new, powerful, confident thought that you are going...
What's the point of playing sports if it isn't fun anymore?
Sometimes, I think back about my time playing sports and wish that I would of just had more fun. Don't get me wrong, I had so many good memories playing, but I also was so dang hard on myself that I lost sight of the reason I played in the first place. Fun.
It doesn't have to be competitive OR fun. It CAN be both! You can be competitive and have fun too.
It’s about embracing that failure WILL happen.
It's about knowing you can get through anything.
It's about being goofy and creating positive energy with your teammates.
It's about giving it all you have and if you look dumb, who cares?!
It's about being in the present moment.
It's about celebrating all the hard work.
It's about lifelong bonds with teammates, coaches, and your parents.
When I think about this concept of balancing being a competitor and also having fun while doing that, I think about the Women's College World Series. Every year it comes on, I watch the...
I can't believe it's next week!
I am SO excited for the group of girl athletes that are about to begin The Confident Athlete (first official call is on Monday)! I have girls from all over the country: Florida, Tennessee, South Carolina, Louisiana, Oregon, Kansas, Arizona, Indiana, Alabama, and MORE!
What's so cool about having girls from different sports, teams, and locations, is they start to see that they aren't alone. They are all going through the highs and lows together. Something about that community, support, and togetherness that creates confidence!
163 girl athletes have completed The Confident Athlete program and have had so much growth, mindset shifts, and confidence built like...
Taking leadership roles
Having more fun competing
Moving past mistakes easily
Having the hard and scary conversations with coaches
Being brave and asking for help
Consistent results and stats
Crushing goals and dreams
This is just a handful of wins from the girls who have been a...
Ahhh!! I'm so, so, so pumped for you the girls in my programs (The Confident Athlete + Girl Gang) to meet Katie Cheadle, our guest speaker, tonight!
This is a bonus month guest speaker for all the girls that joined The Confident Athlete and they are in for a treat!
Katie is a mindfulness based psychologist AND is a former athlete. She GETS IT! I can't wait to hear what she has to teach and share with the girls in my program.
AND! Don't forget about the next 6 months of Guest Speakers!
Holly Esler - CEO and Clinical Therapist
Jill + Mary - Co-Founders of Girls Mentorship
Montana Fouts - Senior Pitcher at Alabama
Rachel Coleman - Recruiting Expert
Jen Schroeder - Former UCLA Softball Catcher, Coach, CEO, + Softball Influencer
Shay Haddow - Former Collegiate Soccer Player + Founder of Alpha Girl Confidence
I mean, this alone is worth The Confident Athlete! But seriously, the reason I bring in the most AMAZING guest speakers is because I want girl athletes to be surrounded with the...
I had the Meet n' Greet with the girls that are officially in The Confident Athlete and I am SO excited for this next round!
I have poured so much into this program and I'm stoked to share it with this group. But, this girl also needs a mental break! After having to postpone our wedding to October, some of our friends told us about this trip they were going on... I heard Greece and it was all over from there!
So, we are actually in New York right this second and heading to...
Santorini + Mykonos
I can't wait to see all these beautiful new places. See more of this world!
Follow along to see pieces of the journey and then I'll be back and ready to Kick Start The Confident Athlete with a serious BANG!
Psssst.... this also means there is some time to get into The Confident Athlete before the first kick off call!
Ever wonder how to step into your confidence?
1 Move past your mistakes
2Stop being so hard on yourself
3Be a leader without being bossy
Keep on keepin’ on,
How to help your daughter step into her confidence!
Have you ever thought about how your choice of words affect your athlete? The phrases you use to cheer her on? What you say to her after a game?
Have you ever said any of these things (you're not in trouble haha)?
Stop dropping your shoulder!
Don't lose her!
Why would you go for that ball?
Your stats are on fire!
You are so talented!
Even though these seem like pretty harmless phrases, there are more positive, empowering, confident ways to say these kinds of things.
They might sound like this...
Keep your shoulder up and stay tall!
Go right after her!
What are some wins and challenges from the game today?
Your effort and your attitude was on fire!
Your hard work is paying off!
The words, thoughts, and things we tell ourselves are so important because...
What we say and think is what we believe!
So, we want to say, share, and think what we want to happen in games and practices rather than the opposite.
It's a really simple...
When my dad is yelling at me for making a mistake after the game, but I already know and beat myself up over it.
I know you know what this feels like haha! It's all fun and jokes when it's not happening, but when you're in the car feeling like total crap, it totally sucks. It creates a wedge between you and your dad/mom. You're all mad, frustrated, upset, crying, all the things.
There is a solution to this!
It's called boundaries and communicating them with your parent!
Boundaries are set to create space for you to work through your thoughts, learn, and then have an even more productive conversation when BOTH of you are in a better headspace to chat about the game.
You HAVE to set these boundaries, meaning you have to share the boundary with your parent.
It looks like this…
Dad, I appreciate you so much and all the time you put into me playing softball.
After the games, I'm like a crazy person and really need to work through some of my thoughts and emotions before we talk...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.