If you never ask, you might never get it.
I know it can be scary, uncomfortable, nerve wracking to talk to your coach and ask for what you want, but here’s the thing…
Your coach has all of your other teammates and things on their plate. Don’t take it personally, but you might not be top of mind all the time.
That’s why it’s so important to ask for what you want. Which usually is a conversation with your coach (or teacher or boss or etc.).
Think about the direction of your goals and dreams so you know what you want to ask for.
The other really important thing about asking for what you want is that you are speaking what you want into existence. Physically telling someone else. The reason this is important is because you’re not only thinking about it, but this is the first step of taking action towards what you want.
So, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone in order to really go for what you want.
I can clearly remember the times I had...
Yepppp, I said it. You heard it correctly!
I’m not anti-negative thoughts.
The idea of never having negative thoughts just isn’t realistic.
Negative thoughts are going to happen and THAT IS OKAY!
You’re good! You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. Everyone has some shape and form of negative thoughts.
The reasons you have negative thoughts are one of these…
You’re an ATHLETE!
So, if negative thoughts are okay, then what?
We have to do something with them, right?!
You called it.
Here’s what we can do with these annoying negative thoughts that aren’t going away…
1 Shift your thoughts
Get aware of when they happen and start to figure out how you can start to shift them in a different way, which leads me to…
2 Think differently
Think differently about your failures (AKA use them to get better and learn). Think differently about your...
You want that starting spot or a different position so bad!
1 Communicate with your coach
I know this can be a scary or uncomfortable conversation, but it’s the most important step! You have to know what the coach wants out of you and what the team needs in order to figure out what you can do to earn that starting position.
2 Set the goals
Once you know what you need to work on or improve on, you can set goals!
3 Set the action goals and take action
Now, it’s time to get to work. Figure out what you need to work on daily. Weekly. CONSISTENTLY in order to accomplish those goals that will get you that starting spot.
4 Learn from your mistakes
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean you won’t get a starting spot. It’s what you do with the mistakes. The athlete that knows how to learn and get better from their mistakes will be the most successful!
5 Seek help!
Reach out to people who inspire...
I was 22.
Just graduated from Northwestern University.
Ready for my next chapter.
Sounds great, right?!
Nope. It was terrible.
I wasn’t an athlete anymore.
I didn’t belong anywhere.
I had NO IDEA what I was going to do in this next chapter (well I had some ideas).
I didn’t have life all figured out.
I still don’t have FULLY figured out.
That’s the point though.
I met a new friend. Dr. Tim Jordan. We met because I started listening to his podcast, Raising Daughters. We had such a great conversation about this topic exactly. Not having life all figured out. He told me a lot of the girls he counsels feel so much pressure and stress because they don’t have it all figured out.
(Insider Tip: Reach out to people who inspire you!!!)
He told me about this concept he came up with, the dot concept. Remember those dot pictures where you’d connect the dots and ended up with some sort of picture?!
He told me that’s kind of what life is like. You...
What will my coaches think?
What will my teammates think?
What will my parents think?
What will I think about myself?
These are the thoughts that pop into our head when we compete.
Mine sounded a little more like…
What if I don’t get the hit and they take me out?
I have to get this hi or else…
It’s negative. It’s self doubt. It’s fear.
When I had these thoughts, I was just setting myself up for failure. I created the results with just my thoughts.
I tell the girls in The Confident Athlete to “Fake it till you make it.”
To be honest, I didn’t love this saying because who wants to be fake?!
I want the real deal. True confidence!
Here is how “Fake it till you make it” works.
The more positive, encouraging, powerful, confident thoughts we can put in our head and surround ourselves with, the more we will believe it.
At first, a positive thought might not feel like the truth. And, that’s okay!
But, just like...
It is time to start owning your confidence!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I can envision what I want each girl athlete I come across to feel and be.
My goal and vision for girl athletes that are in my programs, followers on Instagram, or just cross paths with me is for them to own their confidence.
So… that’s you!
I want you to OWN YOUR CONFIDENCE!
I want you to OWN YOUR POWER!
And I want you to do this unapologetically.
I want you to be able to walk onto a field or court or wherever you are competing and know that you can do whatever you set your mind to.
I want you to walk the halls at school with confidence of who you are, no apologies.
I want you to feel confidence no matter what challenges, struggles, problems, or failures come your way.
So, let’s work on this!
I want you to journal on these 2 questions:
1 What do you want your confidence to feel like?
2 What do you want your confidence to look like?
When you have those answers, I want you to...
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be truly confident? The best version of yourself?
I’ve got you covered, girl!
In this video, we are going to actually practice visualization. Like right here, right now!
You all know that I teach the girl athletes in my programs visualization.
I teach visualization because it’s a simple, yet incredibly powerful tool to create confidence and find more success!
I want you to know how it feels to visualize your best self. Your most confident self.
So, close your eyes and get ready to visualize.
How you want to feel before you go to compete.
What you want to do in your games/competition.
How you want to show up.
What you want to believe about yourself.
Practice this over and over to really embody this confidence!
Challenge: Get a photo of you visualizing before a game or practice and submit it in my Athlete Photo Entry to be featured in my social media!
Keep on keepin’ on,
Every time I think about the phrase, “letting go, let go, let it go,” I’m singing Frozen
But, on a serious note… letting go of expectations…
This is hard stuff you guys.
I know because I think I have some of the highest expectations ever. I’m pretty sure it started when I was in like 1st grade.
I expected a lot of success from myself. In school, in sports, in life, in my business today!
Those expectations have held me back though. Those expectations have put so much pressure, it’s actually done damage instead of good.
So, how do we let go of expectations (there is Elsa again…)?
It’s just thinking about them differently.
Here is an example…
I’m about to step into the box. Runners are in scoring position. It’s MY JOB to help my team score by getting a hit in this at bat. Pressure is on.
Big expectations me is thinking…
I have to get a hit.
If I don’t get a hit, we won’t win....
If you’re not feeling confident, in a rut, going through a slump… you’re going to love this super easy way to boost your confidence.
If you’ve been following along, you know that I’m a believer in visualization. It’s such a powerful tool for athletes to create confidence.
When you visualize your mind is tricking your body into thinking you really did whatever you visualized.
You’re just seeing yourself succeeding and doing what you want to happen in your games, practice, school, wherever!
This super easy way to boost confidence is a form of visualization.
I’m calling it the Confidence Boosting Highlight Album - let me know if you have a better name!
Here’s what you need to try out
1 What I want you to do is create a photo album in your phone or tablet (or parent’s phone) and name it something like Confident Highlights, Confidence Booster, Game Day Album… get creative!
2 Find videos, clips, photos of you C R U S H...
Yeppp… you read that right.
Just like failure can be used for good, to help you grow, learn, improve, comparison can be a good thing too.
I think that we always will compare ourselves in some shape or form. So instead of resisting and pushing it away and trying not to, let’s embrace it. Let’s use it as fuel to our fire!
We get to choose how we use comparison.
We can be threatened and feel jealous when comparing ourselves…
We can be inspired by others!
It’s all a mindset. It’s thinking differently.
When I start to compare myself to people I follow or see doing really amazing and incredible things, I tell myself this affirmation…
“If she can do it, I can do it.”
Now, let’s be honest. There are plenty of times I’ve been scrolling on Instagram (the scroll hole) and I’ve started to get into threatened-jealous-icky comparison mode.
So, figure out what triggers those feelings and...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.