One of the greatest things I ever did as an athlete was have conversations with my coaches.
I’ll be the first one to tell you these conversations were not always easy! Sometimes they were uncomfortable, scary, and emotional, BUT… I always felt better after having it (even if I cried the entire time lol).
I believe that if a coach doesn’t know what’s on your mind or what you need, it’s your responsibility to make that known.
Just like in relationships, we aren’t mind readers!
And, you sure as heck don’t want to get into a habit of being “that parent” that is always texting, calling, talking to the coach about your daughter.
You want to give her the confidence to talk to her coach on her own.
You want to teach her how to be her own advocate.
You want to empower her to get out of her comfort zone and stand up for herself.
Here are 3 steps to help give your daughter the confidence to talk to her coach on her own...
I could debunk this real quick by saying, NOBODY IS PERFECT. Thanks Hannah Montana!
But, in all seriousness, nobody is perfect. The most successful people are not perfect.
I Googled “the most successful people in the world” and found this article that shared the most successful people in the world and what they overcame…
Michael Jordan (Basketball GOAT) - Got cut from his high school basketball team
Walt Disney (Creator of the legendary Disney brand) - Drowned in debt and was forced to file bankruptcy
Franklin Roosevelt (32nd President) - Was paralyzed from the waist down before running for President of the United States
Albert Einstein (One of the Most Intelligent Humans Ever) - Didn’t speak until he was 4 years old
Stephen King (Best Selling Author) - 1st novel was rejected 30 times
J.K. Rowling (Author of Harry Potter) - Single, divorced mother living off welfare before Harry Potter was published
If I never...
I will never forget when I went to a pre-season tournament hosted by ASU Softball and I got to watch multiple college softball teams compete before ever playing collegiate softball myself and noticing the presence of this one player…
I was watching Washington play and I watched as their 3rd baseman went up to bat. Starting from the on deck circle, I could literally feel the confidence from her based on her presence. I remember thinking, “this girl is for sure getting a hit!”
I remember thinking, that’s how I want to show up. That’s how I want people to see me. That’s how I want to compete.
Our presence plays a part in our confidence. Our presence plays a part in our results and outcomes. It’s IMPORTANT!
This week in Mindset Lessons we will be talking about how to be confident through our presence (swagger)!
We will be covering…
What presence, swagger, and confidence...
First off, I am SO excited for the new athletes that joined The Confident Athlete, it’s going to be such an incredible experience for them!
Second off, I’ve been LOVING these weekly Mindset Lessons with athletes!
Last week, one of the athletes shared that she has trouble controlling her emotions and even went on to share with me that the way we feel is out of our control.
This was a red light for me!
I know that our thoughts lead to feelings/emotions.
I also know that I am in control of my thoughts (even though it seems like our thoughts control us sometimes - that’s not true).
But this athlete, innocently, did not know these things. I mean why should she? She’s just gone on playing and competing, allowing her emotions to be out of her control.
So, this week in Mindset Lessons we are focusing on how to control your emotions.
If your daughter struggles to control her emotions…
Cries after failure
Is your daughter the ultimate overthinker?!
I was talking with an athlete in one of last week’s Mindset Lessons and I asked her to share what she was thinking and feeling before she went to serve…
She listed out about 15 things and I was like oh, girl!!! You are thinking about wayyyyy too many things before you perform!
These thoughts, worries, doubts, fears just flood her mind and she doesn’t know how to let them go…
You’re over in the stands, or let’s face it, pacing back and forth, contemplating covering your eyes like it’s a scary movie because you can tell she’s doing that overthinking thing, looking defeated before anything has even happened yet!
Good news for you, we will be working on exactly this in our Mindset Lessons THIS WEEK!
I’ll be walking the athletes that show up how to…
Notice triggering thoughts that are making her overthink
How to stop overthinking by KEEPING IT SIMPLE!
Focusing on the...
Imagine this… you're watching your daughter at her softball game and she’s about to go up to bat. She already looks hesitant, maybe even scared up there. You’re already thinking, she’s toast. She has no confidence up there and you instantly worry about how she’s going to respond for the rest of that game and the rest of the weekend’s tournament.
I know it can be so frustrating and even heartbreaking watching your daughter struggle to feel confident when you know how great she is.
I have TWO solutions for you that you can use right away!
1 I’m having a Parent Workshop just for parents like yourself that feel like that . It’s called, Confidence as an Athlete and Young Woman: Help your daughter build real, lasting, stable self-worth and value.
We are going to cover these things that will help her in this exact situation
What to say to your daughter to help her build confidence (and what not to say)
As an athlete, you don’t want to make mistakes. I mean, shoot, you practice, practice, practice, so you can show up your very best and perform on game day. But, that fear of making mistakes always likes to creep into your brain and get in the way, then BOOM…mistake.
It’s totally normal to be frustrated after making a mistake.
It’s totally normal to be in your head after making a mistake.
It’s totally normal to overthink after making a mistake.
This just means you CARE. That you are passionate about the way you show up. But, these things won’t make you any better moving forward.
You have to understand that failure is a good thing. Wrap your arms around that mistake and make friends because guess what? More mistakes are coming your way. It’s part of being an athlete!
So, here’s how you get out of your head after making a mistake…
You have to learn from it and move forward!
We are going to be talking about how...
In this past week’s Mindset Lessons (if you don’t know what these are, click that link for all the details), I had multiple athletes tell me they’d like to talk about letting go of what others think about their performance.
So, naturally, that’s what today’s tip is all about!
Are you afraid to be judged? Do it anyway!! Okay, okay… easier said than done, right?!
You are not alone, first off. So many of us are afraid to speak up, ask a question, go first, raise our hand, try something new, go all out with the possibility of messing up out of the fear of being judged by others.
Here’s the reality, the truth. Whenever you do it anyway and put yourself out there, you give people something to respond to. Whether you like it or not.
But, here’s what I want you to always remember…
You can’t control how other people will perceive you or judge you. Trust me, it’s not worth your time or energy trying to control it.
2022 is just about here! Can you believe it?!
I hope you had a Merry, merry Christmas and are getting ready to ring in the New Year!
One of my absolute favorite things to do at the end of the year is to reflect. I know, it doesn’t sound glamorous or as cool as making vision boards (hint, hint, we’ll be doing this in January), but reflecting is so eye-opening anddddddd… can give you some instant feel-good confidence!
It is so powerful looking back at the beginning of 2021 and seeing how far you’ve come in just one year.
Because we are constantly being hard on ourselves and not thinking we are where we want to be, the athletes I’ve done this with and myself included are always surprised with the progress we’ve made.
So, are you ready to surprise yourself?!
Here’s how we do this reflection thing.
1 Get out a piece of paper and pen/pencil.
2 Set a timer for 10 minutes.
3 Brainstorm ALL of the progress you’ve made...
Are you focused on the negative outcomes? What might go wrong? Afraid to fail?
What if you said all of these things before your next game instead of worrying about all the things that might not go successfully?
I am STRONG. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am in POWER. I TRUST myself. I CHARGE forward when things get tough. I trust my GUT. I love CHALLENGES. I can do anything I set my MIND to. I EMPOWER others around me. I LEAD with purpose. I bet on MYSELF. I am a DREAMER and a DOER. I make a DIFFERENCE and I am IMPORTANT. I choose HAPPINESS. I am a WARRIOR in competition and life. I am CONFIDENT.
How do you think you would feel? Excited? Motivated? Confident?
Try this before your next game! You can use these exact affirmations that are the motto for The Confident Athlete!
Remember, what you think and say is what you believe, so be intentional about what you are thinking and saying before games!
Did you know I have a free Self Talk Practice you can download and work on what you...
A Pre-Game Routine for Your Mindset!
Use this tool to create a pre-game routine in order to mentally prepare for games and show up confident.